


FLICKER

by roguewn



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (i'll try), Angst, College!AU, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Multi, Slow Burn, Work In Progress, a big chaos basically, a lot of introspective shit, an emotional wreckage basically, and fluff, but also sweet sweet love, fasten your seatbelts for the feels ride, introspective, knowing myself it's gonna be A LOT of angst, modern!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-02-05 07:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12789924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguewn/pseuds/roguewn
Summary: When Rey starts taking an interest in the popular Poe Dameron, the only way to get close to him is to ask for help to his best friend, Ben Solo.Except, Ben Solo is an asshole.





	1. Of Elevators and Leather Jackets

**FLICKER**

 

 

 

 

**1\. Of Elevators and Leather Jackets**

 

 

 

 _Baby got our head down_  
_Baby trying to stand down in the crowd_  
_Looking for a stranger_  
_Looking for a stranger to love_  

— Bad Habit, The Kooks

 

 

 

Love.

 

If someone asked Rey what love is, she would have probably quoted some cheesy line from a movie, or some well-thought poetry – just enough, so that her interlocutor would be fooled into thinking she was of the romantic kind, like her delicate features suggested.

 

Truth was, Rey had no idea what love was. And no intention to find out.

 

That, until Poe Dameron.

 

“Mister Dreamy,” Finn said for the fifth time in ten minutes. Rey could just roll her eyes at that point.

 

“Stop that.”

 

“It’s your first love, let me gloat for a bit.”

 

“First love?” she echoed, almost hysteric. Then laughed, “You’re getting way too ahead of yourself, Finn. I’ve seen him what? Twice?”

 

“And yet, you’ve been talking about him for the whole week.”

 

“I mentioned him one time!”

 

“Four,” Finn made the number with his fingers and then laid back down on Rey’s bed with an air of great satisfaction, “which means you mentioned him four times more than any other guy ever. I have _every_ right to be excited.”

 

Rey turned back to her computer. Her upcoming exam clearly deserved more attention than Finn’s daydreaming. Her best friend had the worst luck in love, so he was just trying to find a new way to spend time in between heartbreaks.

 

She didn’t mind, as long as he didn’t go too far. And Finn knew her well enough to know when to stop. Still…

 

Still, Finn could be right. Rey’s interest in Poe wasn’t as superficial as she hoped it would be.

 

They had only one class together and didn’t even hang out with the same people. Rey didn’t hang out with anyone, actually. All her classmates talked about was how wasted they get every weekend or what was the coolest party around the campus that week. Rey liked silence, privacy and strolling around the library. She doubted they had much in common.

 

Poe didn’t look like one of them either. Then again, he didn’t look like anyone else. He always wore a leather jacket covered in colorful patches that made him look like one of those bikers Rey had only seen in movies. He had black curls that seemed sculpted by God himself and the brightest smile Rey had ever seen.

 

She wasn’t sure what she liked so much about him. She had seen many pretty guys before, but she never had any interest. It was as if every person she thought could be right for her always lacked something, there was always something wrong that pushed her away in the end. Romantic relationships were never a priority in her life, but sometimes she found herself wondering what it felt like to be loved and love in return. That’s what had pushed her to try dating a few people, but with poor results. At some point, she stopped trying altogether.

 

Poe striked a conversation first. It was the end of lunch break and Finn had left early for his next class. Rey was alone and Poe had stopped by her table to tell her about professor Skywalker’s exam. Rey had failed the exam because some asshole made her miss the elevator, as stupid as it sounded. Sixty seconds were enough for her to miss the chance to take the exam. Skywalker was famous for his strictness: he never allowed to class anyone who was more than one minute late.

 

Rey was never going to forget that asshole. She had begged the guy to wait as she ran for her life down the corridor and he had stopped the elevator long enough to make her believe she would make it – then he had stepped back and let the doors shut in her face. And he was smiling –  he was _smiling_ , he knew what he was doing. There was only one exam scheduled in that building that day, he knew exactly what he was doing.

 

“I hope he failed,” she murmured through gritted teeth.

 

Finn raised his head. “Who?”

 

“No one,” she blurted out. That asshole definitely didn’t deserve any attention because he looked exactly like someone who lived for it, with that awfully long black hair and those eye-catching dark clothes.

 

“Anyway, isn’t it weird that Skywalker decided to give an extra chance to those who failed this exam? He’s never done that before.” Finn’s voice once again distracted her from her thoughts.

 

Rey swirled around in her chair, the messy bun of her hair bouncing in the process. “Who knows? Maybe he’s getting old. Maybe he feels some Christmas magic in the air.”

 

“It’s October, though.”

 

“I don’t really care about the reason, I just want to ace this exam next time.”

 

“And it has nothing to do with the fact that a certain Poe Dameron is the best in that class, right?”

 

Finn was wiggling his eyebrows in that vexing way of his and Rey raised an eyebrow in return. “The day I do anything just to impress a man is the day you need to kill me, understand?”

 

“So dramatic.”

 

“You do or I do, I swear.”

 

Finn laughed. “I got it. But admit it, you’re at least a little happy that you get to spend more time with him.”

 

Rey thought about Poe’s charming smile and his kindness – he probably looked for her through the whole building just to tell her about the extra session – and she had to admit that she did feel a little something as she thought about seeing him in class the next morning. They didn’t talk about anything in particular and Rey couldn’t even remember a word, but she remembered his soothing voice and the way he spoke, as if everything was going to be alright. She had such a good feeling about this guy she didn’t even know, it almost scared her.

 

“Maybe,” she eventually said. And with that, she swirled the chair back around before she would see the smug look on Finn’s face.

 

xxx

 

Despite a punk-ish appearance that would suggest a certain degree of loath for the disco freaks who composed more than half of the class, Poe Dameron was actually really popular. In fact, Rey was surprised by how popular he actually was.

 

She had the chance to observe him that morning and she noticed there was always a group of people surrounding him. Often, they weren’t even the same people. Rey wondered how she managed to ignore his existence up until then.

 

On a second thought, Poe’s popularity wasn’t surprising at all. Even without considering his good looks, he was the kind of guy everyone loved to have around – always smiling, always positive, sociable, funny, but still serious and dedicated when needed. Rey could tell, because he seemed like a completely different person during breaks than he was during class. His eyes never shifted from the professor and he was always taking notes. So far, Rey couldn’t find him a single flaw and it unsettled her, but it also made her all the more intrigued.

 

At lunch, Finn voiced out what had been on Rey’s mind for the whole morning.

 

“If he’s always surrounded by people… how do you plan to approach him?”

 

Rey shrugged. “It’s not like he’s a celebrity or anything, I can just talk to him whenever I want.”

 

Finn dipped one of his fries in Rey’s ketchup. “So… you talked to him?”

 

Rey looked like she had just been slapped. “No way!”

 

“Why?”

 

“I’m not sure I should try?” Another shrug. “I don’t know anything about him and my interest might just disappear with time.”

 

She kept her eyes on her tray to avoid that look of pure disbelief on Finn’s face. _He_ was the dramatic one. “Do you even hear yourself? You will never start anything if you follow that line of reasoning. How do you expect to find a boyfriend if you never make the first step?”

 

Rey was starting to feel like they had that conversation a million times before. Finn’s words could sound harsh sometimes, but she knew he only said those things because he truly thought she needed to make that kind of experiences and he knew that deep down, Rey was full of insecurities. She used to wonder about why she had never had any important relationship while all the other people around her seemed so comfortable with the whole process. During some really dark days, she confessed to Finn that she felt like something was wrong with her and he would always reassure her that every person had their own timing and that she didn’t need to rush anything.

 

Sometimes, though, something Rey said or something she did would make him really frustrated and he would start nagging her about trying harder or making the first step. Like he was doing now.

 

“First of all, I’m not expecting anything because I don’t need anyone. I have you,” she glanced at Finn with a grin, which he promptly returned, “and I’m perfectly fine on my own. Secondly, people tend to hide their biggest flaws and I’m sure I’d end up disappointed.”

 

Finn made a face. “That’s such a selfish thing to say.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Nobody’s perfect. We all have our flaws and I think it’s pretty normal that we try to show our best traits first. Saying you’re scared to find flaws in people you like it’s the same as saying you think you’re perfect and the others can’t even compare.”

 

“I don’t think anything like that.”

 

“Then stop looking for Prince Charming,” Finn placed a hand on hers and smiled. “Perfection doesn’t always mean happiness. You never know, you might find your happiness in the most flawed human being you’ve ever encountered.”

 

Rey couldn’t help but smile. It amazed her how wise he could really be at times.

 

“So... I can’t be happy with you.” She smirked. “Because you’re perfect, you know that, don’t you?”

 

They both laughed, but Rey also knew that there was some truth in her friend’s words and she was going to take his advice very seriously into consideration.

 

“The most flawed human being… that’s not Poe Dameron for sure.” She added after a moment of silence, with a huge grin on her lips.

 

Finn smirked in return. “Figured. So are you going to make your move or not?”

 

She thought about Poe’s smile and about Finn’s words. How scary could it be to come out of her shell for once? If it worked, she would get closer to Poe Dameron and if it didn’t work, at least she would have no regrets. She realized she had already made her decision.

 

“You know what,” Rey stabbed her meat as if it was personal, then pointed the fork at Finn. “I’m going to talk to him tomorrow.”

 

xxx

 

Fifteen tomorrows passed before Rey finally admitted to herself that she needed help. While her interest for Poe only seemed to increase, her chances to actually start a conversation only seemed to decrease day after day. The guy had just too many friends and catching him alone was nearly impossible. Sometimes, Rey felt stressed for him – she needed some alone-time every now and then or she would go insane. How did Poe manage it?

 

She had made up her mind that she would talk to him that morning or give up at once. She gave her best at all-or-nothing situations so she was positive she would finally succeed.

 

Poe Dameron and his perfect curls were sitting in one of the last rows and he was alone. Rey stopped in her tracks, the heavy door closing loudly behind her back, and she became painfully aware of every sound she would make from that moment onwards.

 

 _This is so stupid_ , she thought, deciding right there and then that having a crush was the most awkward experience of her life and that she didn’t like it a single bit. She made her way through the class, trying not to stare at Poe too much as she got close to his desk. Her plan was to sit next to him for the whole class – and she was sure something would come out of it–

 

Suddenly, she stopped and looked around. It was still early and the class was almost empty. How was she going to justify her sitting right next to a guy she didn’t know, when there were so many empty seats?

 

As the horror dawned on her, she realized she was just two rows away from Poe. Too close. Definitely too close.

 

 _Abort!_ , her brain screamed as she plopped on the first seat her eyes spotted. Her heart was drumming against her ribcage.

 

 _What am I doing?_ Her hands were freezing cold, as it seemed like all her blood was pumping in her chest and abdomen. Her stomach was twisting painfully and her legs itched. Part of her wanted to get up and get it over with that ridiculous situation, but another part of her was frozen in fear.

 

 _Fear of what?_ , she wondered. Of not being interesting enough? Of not being pretty enough? Of not being enough for someone like Poe, who seemed too perfect to be true? He had so many friends and so many admirers, what made her think she could just impress him with some casual conversation?

 

She needed a plan. A well-studied plan.

 

“Poe!” came an high-pitched voice from the back of the class, soon followed by several others. Rey knew she had missed her chance. Again.

 

 _Alright_ , she looked at the big round clock above the blackboard, _I have three hours to come up with a plan._

 

Of course, she couldn’t accomplish in three hours what she didn’t manage to accomplish in two weeks – therefore, at the end of the lesson Rey found herself at a loss of what to do. It felt like deja-vu.

 

She dropped her books in her old, overused shoulder bag and sat still with her palms on her knees for a good thirty seconds. She could hear the chit-chat behind her back and knew that Poe was once again surrounded, but it was now or never.

 

She got up, took a deep breath, repeated her greeting in her head and turned around.

 

Poe was still in his seat, gathering his books as he smiled and replied to this or that person. He looked as stunning as ever, but Rey’s attention was tragically diverted to the guy sitting next to him.

 

Black shoulder-length hair, strong facial features and the beard of someone who hasn’t shaved for more than a week.

 

An alarm went off in Rey’s head. He was the elevator guy. He was _the_ asshole.

 

And he was also chatting and laughing with Poe Dameron as if they were really, _really_ close friends.

 

Rey tried to hold back the smile that slowly started to creep on her lips.

 

She finally had a plan.

 

xxx

 

Ben Solo was always the first one to arrive in class and the last one to leave. This detail usually made his professors forget about the fact that he wasn’t even in class half of the time.

 

He didn’t like mornings and he definitely didn’t like getting up when it was still dark outside. The only reason he went to class early was that he liked silence way more than he liked sleeping and he disliked small talks way more than he disliked waking up at ungodly hours.

 

He wasn’t particularly close with anyone in class and he liked it like that. People were generally louder and more annoying than he could bear. Poe Dameron was no exception: he was loud, he was way too curious and he was annoying as hell. That said, Poe had been Ben’s closest friend for as long as he could remember, so he was  the only one granted permission to bother him at any hour of the day.

 

Poe was also the only person Ben cared about and since the latter was also a good observer, he had noticed the girl who had been awkwardly wandering around his friend for the past days. He didn’t think anything of it: she wasn’t the first and certainly wouldn’t be the last to have a crush on Poe-perfect-hair-Dameron.

 

The last thing he expected, though, was to find that same girl in front of him one morning when it was way too late for anyone to be still in class.

 

She stopped in front of him and moved her lips to say something. He had his earphones on and no intention of removing them. She didn’t seem discouraged because she kept talking with a cheerful smile until he was forced to remove one of his earphones.

 

“What?” He tried to sound as bothered as possible, it usually delivered the message that he wanted to be left alone.

 

She put her hand on her hip and tilted her head to the side, giving him a glimpse of her ridiculous hairbuns.

 

“What do you eat?” She asked with a sweet voice.

 

Ben raised an eyebrow. It was indeed lunch break, but he wasn’t eating anything. What did she mean? Somehow, it didn’t sound like an invitation to have lunch together and why would it be anyway? She followed Poe like a lost puppy and Poe wasn’t even there–  

 

A revelation suddenly hit him: she wasn’t hanging around Poe because she liked his friend – she liked _him_.

 

He smirked at the realization; of course, his good looks didn’t go unnoticed either. And the fact that he owned a motorbike usually helped his relationships with the opposite sex too.

 

“Listen,” he began, leaning back against his chair and trying to sound as charming as possible. Nothing was funnier than playing with people’s feelings. “I understand how you feel, but I need to warn you this is not the right way to my heart.” His grin grew wider. “I don’t like girls who try to do and like everything I do and like, and I’m not particularly impressed by girls who can cook, so you really don’t need to know about my food preferences.”

 

He concluded his speech with a little shrug, as to say _sorry about that, honey_. He expected her to either cry or run away, or both. They always did that, it was embarrassing to see twenty-year-olds being so upset about a refusal. Sometimes he thought that college really wasn’t anything different from kindergarten.

 

The joke was on him, this time. She kept smiling as if he had not spoken a word. And then, she dropped her shoulder bag on his desk, right over the very fragile screen of his phone.

 

“What do you eat,” she repeated, “to be such an asshole?”

 

Ben wasn’t sure if he was angrier about the phone or more shocked about the fact that a girl he didn’t even know had just insulted him with the biggest grin on her face.

 

“Excuse me?” He blinked. “Do I know you?”

 

Her smile disappeared. “Elevator,” she just said.

 

It took him a while to understand the reference. Indeed, she looked somehow familiar, but so did all the other people in the class. He didn’t really pay attention to anyone.

 

“Oh,” he said, voice flat and void of any apologetic note. “The exam?”

 

The girl’s face turned red. “So you knew.”

 

“That you would miss it? Hell yeah, you were late.”

 

His words ignited something inside of her, he could see it on her face. “I wasn’t late until you decided to be a jerk!” She retorted.

 

“A jerk?” He repeated, pointing at himself and looking around as if there could be any other person in the room she could be referring to. She crossed her arms at that little scene, signaling she was growing impatient by the minute. Ben dropped the act and sighed, “Listen Betty–”

 

“I’m no Betty.”

 

“You look like one–  anyway, whatever your name is, you were late that morning and nothing could have saved you. Everyone knows Skywalker is a bitch and you trying to blame it on someone else won’t change the fact that the failure is all yours.”

 

She uncrossed her arms and clenched her fists instead. It burned because she knew he was right, Ben thought. Alright, there was a chance she _might_ have been on time if she took that elevator with him, but he would never admit that.

 

“You are such a dickhead,” she finally said, a brief pause after every word.

 

Ben shrugged. “I got it. When you’re done insulting me, can you please leave?”

 

“You’re not going to apologize?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Are you do–” Ben looked up. She looked very much satisfied. It was his turn to be confused. “Good?”

 

“Yeah,” she confirmed, now smiling again. “Since you’re not going to apologize with words, I’ll have you help me to make up for your shitty personality.”

 

“You really have a way with words, do people ever tell you that?” Ben smirked sarcastically. He had no intention to help her and he didn’t feel the least guilty, but she had clearly planned this out beforehand, so he was curious to hear her ulterior motive. “What do you want?”

 

She blushed a little and for a moment, she actually looked vulnerable enough for Ben to have pity on her.

 

“Your friend… Poe,” she mumbled, “I’d like to know him better.”

 

 _Bingo_ , Ben thought. He was never wrong about these things. He wasn’t even disappointed that she didn’t like him. She looked tedious and she _sounded_ tedious. The worst combo on the planet. “What does this have to do with me? Go talk to him, he won’t eat you.”

 

“He’s always with his friends and I don’t know how to approach him,” she admitted, trying to hide the embarrassment of revealing such things to a complete stranger with a nervous cough. “You two look very close, I thought…”

 

 _Here we go_. Even the voice in his head sounded annoyed.

 

“I got it,” he sighed, “but what do I gain from it?”

 

“The possibility to make up for your wrongdoings?”

 

“Reminder: you’re the one at fault here.” He stared right into her eyes, “What you’re asking requires a huge amount of effort on my part and I won’t do it for nothing.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll treat you to lunch for a week.”

 

Ben took his sweet time weighing the proposal. He didn’t really need to think that long, but he liked to see the annoyed expression on her face.

 

It could be interesting. At the very least, it was going to be funny to see her try and he skipped so many classes that he had too much free time anyway. Why not?

 

“We have a deal,” he said at last, a huge smile on his lips. “We’ll start with the Italian restaurant down the street, tomorrow. I’ve always wanted to go there.” He slipped his phone from under her bag and got up.

 

“Wait,” she said. “I thought you meant lunch at the cafeteria.”

 

“You asked for my help and I’ll have you know that I’m the single person in this college who knows Poe best. You gotta pay for this kind of top-class service.” He took a pen and scribbled something on a piece of paper. “Don’t overuse it. See you tomorrow.”

 

She took the piece of paper and read the three-letter name written elegantly above a phone number. “Ben,” she murmured. He was already at the door. “I’m Rey!” she said, way too loudly for an empty classroom.

 

Ben didn’t stop nor turned around, he just barely raised his hand in a careless gesture as he walked out the door. “Didn’t ask!”

 

Rey’s shoulders deflated. _So presumptuous, I can’t believe this_ , she thought.

 

She was coming out of that battle as a winner – then why did she feel like she had just made a pact with the devil himself?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really bad at starting stories, but I get better once I get into the mood, that's why my first chapters are always so-so. That's to say that I'm not really satisfied with this first chapter, but after re-writing it three times I decided to just go with it and try to make up for it with the next ones.
> 
> I'm slow at writing, but I usually produce really long chapters, so if you bear with my slowpokeness, you'll be rewarded!
> 
> I don't have much to say about the story in itself, I just think I watched to many romantic comedies and this is the result of that. I also wanted to write a story where I could pour a lot of personal experiences and feelings, a bit of an experiment to see if there's anyone else out there who can relate to my characters and therefore to myself. I wanted to write characters who look almost stereotyped at first, but then as you go deeper and peel layer after layer, you see there's a lot more going on. I hope to do a good job and I hope you will like this story. 
> 
> I can promise a lot of angst, but also a lot of sweet things. I don't like cheesiness, so you can't expect fluff, but you can expect sweet stuff and romantic stuff. 
> 
> Don't mind the chapter count, I'm not sure how many chapters will be there. And since I know this fandom loves smut, I have to warn you that I don't think this story will have any because I'm not comfortable enough with it, yet. But I might change my mind as I go forward, so who knows. 
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes, English is not even my second language and I haven't written anything in English for a long time, so I have to get used to that again. Feel free to point out any mistakes, I will correct them.
> 
> Next chapter should come next week because I already have half of it. I will probably start adding a sort of soundtrack from next chapter onwards, like songs I listened to while writing the chapter and so on. Also, if you'd like to leave a thought or a comment, know that those are always appreciated and fuel my will to write :)


	2. Of Cheeseburgers and Dangerous Encounters

 

**2\. Of Cheeseburgers and Dangerous Encounters**

 

 

 

_I don't believe a word you say, but I can't stop listening_

— Where Did The Party Go, Fall Out Boy

 

 

 

Rey woke up to a message from Finn who ironically invited her to do “her best” along with the feeling that she had completely fucked up her life by asking for help to someone who apparently was the worst guy who ever set foot on campus.

 

Rey had done her research, which was something she probably should have done before asking Ben Solo for help. What she had found so far left her more confused than she was before: nothing. None of the people she talked to had anything to say about him. Literally no one seemed to be close to him, which Rey found rather worrying, until she realized she was exactly the same. Some people who attended his same classes had only one thing to say about Ben Solo: he was incredibly arrogant. He didn’t talk to anyone, as if he thought there was no one who deserved his attention.

 

Rey was inclined to believe that because she had the same impression of him, which was what was making her heart beat crazily fast as she walked out of the main building of the faculty. She didn’t know what to expect and she was incredibly nervous. Maybe it wasn’t too late to call off their deal.

 

As she re-evaluated her life choices, she started to notice that everyone around her was staring at something and whispering excitedly.

 

The mystery was soon solved: Ben Solo was maybe a loner, but he certainly didn’t mind being the focus of everyone’s attention. Rey’s new partner in crime was waiting for her in front of the most crowded building of the whole campus on a huge, black motorbike –  that, along with the size of the biker himself, was enough to make everyone who passed by stop and stare.

 

Rey froze in the middle of the sidewalk. That was definitely not a good start.

 

“What is this?” she said, pausing after every word as she walked closer.

 

Ben looked unbothered. He handed her a silver helmet. “No need to thank me. The restaurant is four blocks away and I don’t like to walk.”

 

Rey’s eyes shifted between the helmet and his face. “I’m not riding that.”

 

For Rey, there was a clear difference between theory and practice: she liked things such a motorbikes and fast cars, in theory – she liked looking at them and fantasizing about owning one someday; but in reality, she would never ride one of those hellish machines. It was a stupid risk and she was not stupid.

 

Ben only stretched his arm some more. “I’m wasting my precious lunch break on you, you don’t get to choose.”

 

“I’m paying for your lunch,” she remarked, still not taking the helmet.

 

He tilted his head to the side and grinned. “Do you want Poe Dameron or not?”

 

Rey clenched her teeth and took the helmet.

 

The ride was short and silent. For some unknown reason, she had expected Ben to make some provocative comments when she had to wrap her arms around his waist, but he had not spoken a word, except to tell her to secure the helmet. At least, she thought, he cared about safety.

 

The restaurant was way fancier than Rey feared. Everything was painted in nice shades of blue, neat and quiet; on the walls, black and white pictures of the most beautiful places of Italy; even the waiters wore very elegant uniforms.

 

“Nice,” Ben commented with a huge grin. “I’m really hungry.”

 

Rey desperately hoped his help would be worth all the pain.

 

xxx

 

The waiter tried to conceal his confusion mixed with disgust when Ben ordered a large pizza with wurst and fries. It wasn’t for the pizza itself, but he had already ordered a very expensive meat course with side dishes and clearly no one in the restaurant expected him to go for a pizza after that.

 

Rey was staring at her glass of water and wished she could fall into a coma so that she wouldn’t have to pay for a bill that was starting to look dangerously high. Her stomach was emptier than her plate, and both were going to stay like that.

 

“So?” she said, flat, playing with her napkin and feeling dead inside. Just how much could that guy eat? She observed his every bite with growing anguish.

 

“So?” Ben echoed with his mouth full.

 

Rey crossed her arms. “Start spilling your secrets.”

 

He straightened in his chair and cleared his throat. “Alright. Since you’re dying to know… yes, this is a real leather jacket. No fake.” He fixed it as he spoke with a satisfied look.

 

Rey looked at the piece of clothing: that jacket reminded her very much of one she had seen on Poe, except Poe’s was brown and Ben’s was black, just like the rest of his clothes and shoes. He surely loved the color.

 

“Very funny,” she groaned, eyeing his pizza. She was starving, but she definitely couldn’t afford to eat there if she wanted to pay the rent of her room. “What about Poe? How can I…” she trailed off and started torturing her lower lip. She didn’t know how to say it.

 

Ben grinned. “Get in his bed?”

 

Rey made such a disgusting expression, for a moment it made him doubt she actually wanted a relationship with his friend. “Alright, jokes aside… I’ve never seen him dating anyone.”

 

“What.”

 

“Yeah,” Ben confirmed, looking upset as he chewed a slice of his pizza. “I’m not sure, we don’t really talk about that stuff.”

 

“I thought you were best friends,” Rey’s stomach dropped. Could this guy really help her or was she just throwing money out of the window?

 

Ben shook his head. “That’s not the point. We just don’t talk about it, but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t dated anyone since we got into college.”

 

 _As if I could trust you_ , Rey thought, dying to roll her eyes at the ceiling. She didn’t, and instead got up abruptly, feeling dizzy.

 

“I’ll be right back,” she murmured.

 

“You don’t eat anything?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

 

“I’m not hungry,” Rey lied, and like in a bad movie, her stomach decided to make itself known right there and then. She was so upset and stressed by then that she didn’t even care. She just sighed and walked away.

 

By the time she came back from the bathroom, her partner in crime was arguing loudly with a waiter and with someone who looked like the owner of the restaurant.

 

“I could have died,” Ben was saying.

 

The owner, elegant suit and shiny shoes, looked rather uncomfortable. “Sir, I’m sure there was a misunderstanding…”

 

“Is that what you would be saying in court if I were to die because of your carelessness? Just answer me,” Ben said, nodding at his pizza. “Is there mozzarella on this, or not?”

 

“Well yes, almost all of our pizzas have–”

 

“All of your pizzas?” Ben echoed. “And yet there’s no mention of it in the whole menu! You don’t write your ingredients anywhere.”  

 

“Actually sir, at the back of the menu…”

 

“At the back? Why should I care about the back of the menu? If I’m choosing what to eat I want the ingredients to be under each item in the freaking menu. I’m allergic to all kinds of cheese, I could have _died_ –”

 

“What happened?” Rey said, stopping beside the table. Ben looked quite satisfied in seeing her.

 

He got up abruptly and made a scene of slapping his handkerchief on the table. “I’ll tell you what happened: this place is managed by criminals and I won’t stay here a minute longer.”

 

Rey was so taken aback by the quick turn of events, that she wasn’t able to come up with anything to say. The waiter and the owner, instead, exchanged a meaningful look, after which the latter quietly cleared his throat.

 

“We’re deeply sorry for the inconvenience. Your lunch is on the house today,” he said slowly, in the most submissive tone he could convey. “We’re truly sorry.”

 

Ben stormed out of the restaurant without even saying goodbye. Rey had no choice but to follow him.

 

“What was that?” She asked as soon as she caught up with him. Rey wasn’t short, but that guy had really long legs and walked really fast.

 

“What was what?” He echoed without slowing down or looking at her.

 

“That little show at the restaurant,” the idea of grabbing his arm and just let herself be dragged along was really tempting. “Where are we going anyway? And can you please slow down?!”

 

He did slow down, but only to cross the road and reach the McDonald’s on the other side.

 

“I’m allergic to cheese, that’s all,” he said, voice flat, pushing the heavy doors with his open palm. Even his hands were huge, Rey noticed.

 

She couldn’t quite believe him for some reason, but she was too relieved about her wallet to inquire further.

 

Offering lunch at McDonald’s was certainly better than doing so at some expensive restaurant, therefore Rey paid for both their orders without a single complaint and with a shadow of satisfaction on her face that didn’t go unnoticed in her partner’s eyes.

 

“I changed my mind,” he said as they sat face to face near a window. “Let’s eat in the cafeteria. I have a tight schedule and I don’t want to waste fuel.”

 

Rey just nodded, mouth full of fries and ketchup. It was what she meant from the beginning so she didn’t want to risk making him change his mind by saying one word too many.

 

They ate in silence for a while. Ben Solo had a curious dualism in him: he looked like a thug, yet he ate like a prince. Rey had to admit she was having a lot of fun watching him handle his burger with way more delicacy than it required and he had a real talent for not smearing his mouth whenever he took one of his huge bites.

 

Her bad-concealed smile caught the man’s attention.

 

“What?”

 

Rey pretended she didn’t know what he was talking about. “What?”

 

Ben didn’t reply, he just stared at her in silence. He looked like he was deep in thought and Rey felt strangely uncomfortable. His eyes were piercing right through her and she couldn’t tell which color they actually were.

 

“He might like you,” he said at last.

 

“What?”

 

“Poe,” Ben explained. “He likes people like you.”

 

“What do you mean?” Rey wasn’t completely sure it was a good thing.

 

“You smile a lot when you think no one’s looking,” he explained as if it were the most obvious thing to say to someone you had known for just one day. “He likes…” he made a vague gesture towards Rey’s whole persona, “...positivity.”

 

Rey couldn’t hold herself back. She burst out laughing under Ben’s questioning stare.

 

“You said the word like it’s something disgusting,” she managed between fits. “And what does this say about you, anyway?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“How are you Poe’s best friend with that dark look of yours?” Rey admitted, gesturing towards his black leather jacket. “Or is this just a phase?”

 

He was taken aback for a moment, as if he didn’t expect anyone to question his friendship with Poe or worse, his style. But his confusion didn’t last long. He leaned back to rest against the chair with a big dangerous grin on his lips.

 

“I’m a really bad person,” he said, “and Poe needs someone like me in his life. We balance each other.”

 

Rey raised an eyebrow with a smug grin of her own. “A bad person, uh?”

 

“The worst,” Ben confirmed. He was clearly having fun. “You might come to regret getting close to someone like me.”

 

Rey pretended to shiver and chuckled. “We’ll see,” she said. Something told her there was more to Ben Solo than what he was willing to show. Rey wasn’t sure what suggested her the idea: it could be his incredible deep eyes or the fact that he was eating a cheeseburger when he was supposedly allergic to cheese.

 

xxx

 

“ _Are you sure he's not some sort of psycho?_ ” Finn sounded slightly concerned even over the interference.

 

Rey frowned, gave her back to the window and let herself fall on the bed like dead weight. It was late, but that drunkard of her neighbor had his TV at full volume and she would not sleep until he turned it off. Explained the extremely cheap rent of her apartment.

 

“No– Everyone likes Poe. Really, I haven’t heard a single bad word about him.”

 

“ _I was talking about that Ben guy._ ”

 

Her frown only increased. She pulled the phone back and looked at it for a moment before placing it beside her ear again. “I thought we were talking about Poe.”

 

“ _Me too, but you spent the last fifteen minutes talking about Ben Solo._ ”

 

“Did I?” with half her face pressed into the pillow, Rey closed her eyes. “It must be because of that crazy lunch. He’s… unusual. I can’t quite figure him out yet.”

 

“ _You can say psycho._ ” Finn repeated. “ _And a scammer. He hasn’t helped you at all so far._ ”

 

Rey rolled over, stretching her arm over the edge of the bed and sighing. “Remind me why you had to abandon me.”

 

Finn chuckled. “ _It’s my grandma’s birthday and I wouldn’t miss it for the world._ ”

 

“Right. You’re the dictionary definition of a good guy. How are you still single?”

 

“ _Bad luck?_ ”

 

Rey smiled. Finn really wasn’t lucky in love. His boyfriends were either complete assholes or filthy swindlers, sometimes both. His last ex had dumped him by screaming that he didn’t love him out of a taxi, while Finn was still waving goodbye at him. Finn paid for that taxi.

 

“ _Trust someone who has been there before,_ ” Finn continued, “ _he’s just using you for free food. You better face him before you waste any more time and money._ ”

 

Rey stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t rebut. Despite her instinct telling her that there was more to Ben Solo than what she could see, she couldn’t be sure of it. She didn’t know him well enough and on the surface, he wasn’t that good of a company. He was someone she would have never hung out with in normal circumstances and she was well-aware of that.

 

Finn could be right. She might have been falling in someone’s trap and she couldn’t afford to throw money away.

 

Ben Solo had to fulfill his duty or walk out of her life as quickly as he had come in.

 

xxx

 

Ben was chewing slowly and sending glances at her in the meantime. Rey found it annoying and wished he would stop. He had this inexplicable habit of staring at people like he could read into their souls. It made her shiver and she still didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing.

 

“You changed your hair,” he said at last, sounding uninterested despite having noticed that detail.

 

Rey realized it was the first time he was seeing her without the hairbuns. It was starting to get really cold and she opted for a hairstyle that didn’t leave her neck exposed: she kept her hair loose on her shoulders, except for a small bun on the back of her head.

 

She merely raised her gaze to send him a brief glance and then looked down at her lunch again. “Same jacket.”

 

He looked as offended as anyone Rey had ever seen. “No. New jacket.” He fixed it proudly as to make a point.

 

“Then you and Batman have something in common,” she commented, grinning without any hint of amusement on her face.

 

The cafeteria was crowded and Rey was trying to hold back the urge of running away. She wasn’t agoraphobic, but she hated crowded places nonetheless. Sometimes, people who passed by their table would stare at them longer than necessary. Rey wondered what was more unusual for them: seeing Ben Solo in the company of someone who wasn’t Poe Dameron, or seeing Rey in the company of anyone at all. She wasn’t even sure her classmates knew who she was and she wouldn’t recognize them either. It was kinda sad, if she stopped to think about it.

 

“Nothing to ask today?”

 

Rey removed her eyes from the half-eaten vegetables and her mind from any more depressing thoughts. As she did so, the voices and noises around them seemed to overwhelm her at once. She felt dizzy.

 

“I do, actually,” she said calmly. She wasn’t doing it on purpose, but she was trying to make that guy understand that she wasn’t the least happy with how things were going.

 

But Ben Solo surprised her again. He pushed his tray away and looked around casually before resting his eyes on her again.

 

“Then, do you mind taking this conversation somewhere else?”

 

Rey blinked, once, with probably the most stupid expression she ever wore on her face. Did the guy read her mind? She would never know, but she gladly accepted his offer.

 

He walked away so fast, Rey had once again a hard time following him between the sea of people going in their opposite direction. As she tried not to lose sight of his wide back – which was made fairly easier by the guy’s impossible height – Rey wondered if he, too, felt suffocated.

 

Her doubt seemed to find an answer when they finally reached the courtyard and Ben Solo drew a big, satisfied breath first thing. Then, he proceeded to fish out a pack of cigarettes and light himself one.

 

Rey rolled her eyes and quickly found a corner where his smoke wouldn’t damage her lungs. The move didn’t go unnoticed and it made him smirk.

 

“Let me guess: the farthest you went from home before coming to college was the local church.”

 

It took Rey a long moment before she realized he was making fun of her. “Excuse me?”

 

He didn’t reply to that. He exhaled a cloud of smoke to the grey sky and looked down at his black sneakers as he tapped on his cigarette to get rid of the ashes in excess. “What is it?”

 

Talking with him felt like talking in riddles. “What?” Rey retorted, crossing her arms.

 

“The question you have for me,” he finally turned around to look at her with his usual smug grin.

 

It was her turn to smirk. That guy really had no idea what he was getting into.

 

“First of all,” she raised her index, “not sharing your unhealthy habits is no reason to make fun of anyone. My motto is: if you want to die, you’ll do it alone.”

 

She saw his grin disappear almost immediately and felt incredibly satisfied by the sight.

 

“Secondly, I do have question for you, but it might not be what you were expecting,” she turned serious all of a sudden and that finger quickly became an accusatory one when she pointed it at him. “How long are you planning to fool me?”

 

If he was surprised, he certainly didn’t show it. He dropped the consumed cigarette and stepped on it without grace, turning his whole body around to face Rey properly. He stared at her without saying a word, as if expecting her to go ahead and finish her speech. Which she did.

 

“It’s been three days and you haven’t told me anything useful about your friend, except that apparently I’m someone he might like,” she made air commas at the last words and rolled her eyes, “which, frankly, doesn’t help me at all. I’ll be very honest with you,” she swallowed, feeling embarrassed for what she was about to say, “I’m not rich. Hell, I’m the complete opposite of that. I don’t like throwing money out of the window and I feel like I’m doing exactly that with you. If your parents don’t feed you, it’s not my problem. Don’t mooch off me.”

 

The moment of silence that followed her words was colder than the wind blowing in their faces. Rey tried to hold his gaze without looking away – she felt she would lose if she did.

 

Ben Solo slipped both hands in the pockets of his jacket and took a step forward. He didn’t look like someone whose whole personality and family had just been insulted, but if Rey had learned something during the past few days was that it was hard to read his face.

 

He kept walking towards her, eyes in hers, and Rey instinctively began to retreat. Before she could regret that move, she was already back against the wall. When he stopped, he had shamelessly invaded her personal space and didn’t look the least sorry about it.

 

Ben leaned down, so that their eyes were at the same level and their faces a bit too close for Rey’s taste. His hands were still in his pockets and he was smiling, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It hit her right there and then that he was extremely mad.

 

“It’s easy, uh?” he said quietly. Rey frowned in confusion, but he continued before she could formulate any question. “Pushing the blame on other people. It’s easy. You do it all the time.”

 

“I don–”

 

“You do.” He leaned back a little, his eyes void of any emotion now. “You missed the exam because of me? Or because you were already late on your own? You’re wasting money because of me? Or because you aren’t able to talk to Poe on your own? I bet that if Poe were to reject you, you would blame it on the friend who pushed you to talk to him in the first place.”

 

Rey was bewildered. How could he read her so easily? How _dare_ him talk like that to someone he barely knew? Something in his tone was incredibly frustrating and enraging. That man knew where to hit in order to upset people.

 

Her lips that were forming a shaky line opened to reply. “I would never do that. You don’t know anything about me.” Her voice betrayed her anger and she hated it. She didn’t want him to know how much his words were affecting her.

 

“Oh, but I do,” he immediately said. “You feel special. You feel unique. If something doesn’t work out the way you want to, it’s never your fault because you’re never wrong. Your parents probably raised you like a princess, wrapped in cotton wool. College must be pretty hard for you, uh?” he smirked, without amusement, and brought his lips beside Rey’s ear. She barely flinched, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. “Rey…” he murmured against her skin, “you’re just a coward.”

 

He stepped back, his face now a mask of indifference. “I’m done with this stupid game. Don’t contact me again.”

 

As he walked away, Rey felt her knees giving up on her. She was convinced he would hurt her, somehow. His whole appearance, down to the way he moved screamed ‘trouble’. Instead, he had not touched her at all.

 

Nonetheless, his words were harsh and careless, just like him. As she watched him get away, she wished she had something to throw at him. He was arrogant, shameless, insolent and…

 

Rey lowered her gaze.

 

...and she had insulted him first. Not only him, his family as well. Without knowing anything about them. She was no different from him.

 

“Maybe it’s really just a stupid game,” she murmured to herself. What was she going to do now? She doubted Ben Solo was retrievable and she had no intention of trying anyway. There was something definitely dangerous about him, even if she had nothing to pinpoint in particular.

 

Rey decided to drop the issue for the time being and wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck. As she did so, she brushed the spot where Ben’s lips had almost touched her cheek just a few moments before. She slowly cupped her cheek with her cold fingers and looked in the direction where he had disappeared.

 

Her skin was burning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo. I know I'm late. Like, really late. I have no excuses, but between work, friends, holidays and THE LAST JEDI RELEASE!!!!!!!!! my mind has totally been elsewhere. But TLJ also gave a boost to my inspiration, so I hope I can update more regularly and more often from now on.
> 
> I wanted to add a few more scenes to this chapter, but they would be long and pretty intense, so I thought it was better to cut it here. I wanted to update two chapters at once to make up for my late update, but I was also eager to share this chapter with you and to let you know I'm not dead, so here it is!! I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I think I will soon start to share some sort of playlist for this story, but if you want some visual reference in the meantime you can check out my tumblr! http://roguewn.tumblr.com/tagged/ff:flicker
> 
> Thank you for all your comments, I will immediately reply to them because they're all very precious to me. This is truly a blessed time for us reylos!


	3. Of Coffees and Late Night Confessions

 

**3\. Of Coffees and Late Night Confessions**

  
  


 

_I'm gonna tell you something you don't want to hear_

_I'm gonna show you where it's dark, but have no fear_

–  Nightcall, Kavinsky

  
  


 

Rey wasn’t the kind of person to slack off at work, but a long day of boring classes and no sleep would push to their knees even the strongest fighter. Therefore, for the first time since she started working there, Rey found herself staring at the clock and wishing it would go faster so that her shift would finally end.

 

The cafe didn’t have many customers at that time of the day – or better, night. College didn’t leave Rey any other choice than taking the latest shift during weekdays. There was something magical and sometimes disturbing about the kind of customers who frequented the cafe late in the evening. There were stressed out students who just needed a place to study while at the same time filling their veins with coffee; the occasional young couple who cuddled up in a corner of the shop and spent two hours laughing at nothing and exchanging embarrassing cuddles for the whole world to see; some old man who tried to conceal his drunkenness and thought a strong coffee would be the cure for all evil; drunk youngsters who thought it would be funny to bother everyone they considered ‘too serious’.

 

The latter category was the worst in Rey’s opinion. She had to deal with guys who were definitely too young to be so drunk so early on one out of two days. They usually flirted with anyone who was breathing, when they weren’t too angry drunk for that. That was the part of her job she disliked the most.

 

Rey sighed, then straightened her back just in time to see her manager coming out of the kitchen. It was a woman in her late forties with a peculiar cascade of pink hair that resembled cotton candy. The badge on her chest read _Amilyn_ , but Rey called her Miss Holdo. Her sharp features made her look strict, but she was actually a really caring person.

 

“Here,” she said, sliding Rey’s phone across the counter. “It’s been ringing non-stop for the past hour.”

 

Rey frowned, taking the item hesitantly. “I can check it when I get off.”

 

“I didn’t check who it is, but it must be urgent. Take a break, if needed.”

 

“Thank you,” Rey murmured, unlocking the screen. There were several missed calls and messages, all from a single sender. Her eyes turned empty upon seeing the name.

 

Miss Holdo was staring at her with a soft and somehow amused look in her eyes. “You’ve been looking at the clock a lot today,” she nodded at the phone, “add the phone calls…  A date?”

 

In any other situation, Rey would have been bothered by the question. She wasn’t inclined to share details about her personal life with just anyone and she wasn’t particularly close with her colleagues either. But Miss Holdo was an exception: she never asked a question out of mere curiosity, it was her way of taking care of the people around her. She had a special gift for understanding people’s deepest feelings and that was maybe the reason she had taken Rey under her caring wing. Rey had come to see her as a motherly figure.

 

She shook her head. “No. It’s nothing important.” She slipped the phone in the pocket of her apron and turned away, pretending to fiddle with the coffee machine.

 

Miss Holdo didn’t move, nor her eyes shifted from Rey’s figure. Her expression turned bittersweet. “It’s her again, isn’t it?”

 

Rey didn’t reply, but her gaze dropped.

 

Miss Holdo sighed. “What does she want this time?”

 

“Money? A punching bag? Both?” Rey retorted with a sad smile. “Doesn’t she always ask for the same things?”

 

“You’re not her punching bag. Nor her personal bank.” Miss Holdo said softly, leaning closer to the young girl. “You don’t owe her anything, you know that right?”

 

Rey merely nodded, pretending to be cleaning the same cup for the third time in a row. She just didn’t want to face Miss Holdo and see the look of compassion on her face. She was aware that having someone who knew pretty much everything about that issue and was willing to listen to her and was ready to understand her was great, but sometimes she felt pitied and she felt like a burden, and she didn’t want to feel like that. She knew it was all in her mind, but she didn’t like it nonetheless.

 

“She doesn’t know where you are, does she?” continued the manager.

 

This time, Rey shook her head. “I doubt it. I’ve been very careful.”

 

Miss Holdo gently squeezed her shoulder. “Cheer up. Your shift ends in ten minutes.”

 

She waited for Rey to smile and disappeared in the back room once more.

 

Rey wiped her hands with the apron, exhaling a long sigh as she looked up from the counter for the first time in a while. There was someone just outside the shop and the door opened a moment later, followed by the usual ring of the small bell just above it.

 

Rey’s eyes followed Ben Solo as he walked inside the cafe with his helmet tucked under his arm. She suddenly realized she might have seen him in the shop before, but never really paid attention to him. It was a given, since the cafe wasn’t really far from the campus. Still, Rey wished he could have chosen another cafe for that night. She wasn’t ready for another fight, especially in public and especially during the last minutes of her shift. The day had been tiring enough as it was.

 

The man, eyes on the blackboards hanging above the counter which displayed the whole menu, approached her without even looking at her.

 

“An espresso,” he said, eventually shifting his eyes from the menu. When he realized who he was talking to, his expression changed into one of utter surprise. But it was just a moment – he was once again expressionless in the blink of an eye.

 

“Coming,” Rey said, keeping her voice flat. She was glad she had to turn away from him in order to prepare the order. She couldn’t stand the mere sight of him for the time being.

 

Ben Solo stayed exactly where he was – Rey could hear his fingers drumming on the counter and the faint scent of his cologne reached her all the way there. Despite everything, she had to admit he had good taste.

 

“Make it takeaway,” he suddenly added.

 

Rey gritted her teeth. He was simply rude. Not a single ‘please’, not anything at all. She would have spat in his coffee if she could. Instead, she placed the hot paper cup in front of him with the brightest work smile she could convey. “Here you go.”

 

He placed the helmet on the counter, took the cup with his gloved hand and left the exact amount of cash due for the coffee in its place. All of that without ever looking at Rey.

 

“Have a nice day,” she said nonetheless when he walked away, as she did with every single customer.

 

Ben turned around just before opening the door. “It’s night,” he just said, emotionless, before walking out.

 

Rey clenched her fists and hoped he would spill that coffee all over his precious bike.

  
  


xxx

  
  


Finn had sent a message saying he would be back for the afternoon class the next day. Rey attended a different class, which meant they would not see each other until dinner, but the thought of sitting in some quiet place and having a nice dinner while talking with her best friend for hours was doing wonders for her mood. The ‘accident’ at the cafe – codename: Ben Solo – was soon forgotten after such good news, and Rey proceeded to plan the rest of her evening at home.

 

Actually, there wasn’t much to plan: she would eat whatever was left in the fridge, maybe study a little and then watch something boring on TV until she passed out.

 

She threw a couple eggs in a pan as she thought briefly about her classmates; she was sure some of them would be partying all night long and would come to class completely wasted the next morning. It was easy to recognize the party people because they usually sat at the very back of the class, wearing hoods over their faces and sleeping most of the time. The image made her smile for no reason. Sometimes she wondered if she could try and do something like that, someday. It wasn’t like her at all, but sometimes there was an ominous feeling creeping up in the back of her mind, the feeling of missing out on things she could only do at her current age.

 

“Ridiculous,” she mumbled, flipping over the omelettes. She couldn’t possibly have regrets about things she didn’t like to do in the first place. But she did find some pleasure in not doing what everyone else did. Solo was right about that: Rey did feel somewhat unique. And what was so wrong in having some self-esteem in a society that seemed focused on making people lose all of it?

 

As her mind wondered about this, and way more trivial matters at the same time – where did she put the ketchup, by the way? – loud noises began to reach her ears. Someone was walking up the stairs, apparently bumping in every wall _and_ yelling.

 

 _I was wondering why everything was so quiet tonight_ , she thought with a roll of eyes. She was so used to the noise that she managed to isolate herself in a matter of seconds.

 

It was hard to do it this time, though. The noises only became louder and they sounded closer and closer every passing minute. Rey was about to sit in front of the television when someone knocked on her door.

 

She glanced at the door as she placed her plate on the low table in front of her. Everything was suddenly quiet in the corridor, but she felt strangely restless.

 

“Yes?” she said out loud, not moving from there. Her apartment was quite small and the entrance door opened directly on the kitchen and living room.

 

“Janine,” a man’s voice cried from the outside, dragging the letters. It was rough, sluggish and horribly familiar. Rey knew exactly who it was.

 

“Janine!” the man repeated louder, dragging the last ‘e’ like a whiny child. His fists bumped against the door again and Rey flinched.

 

Among all the apartments in that building, her neighbor had to pick her door for one of his drunk shows.

 

Rey sighed and walked to the door, placing her palm against it and her free hand on the lock. As far as she knew, he wasn’t a dangerous person so it would be enough to talk to him to make him go away, or so she hoped.

 

“Mister Morris, I’m afraid you got the wrong–”

 

“ _Filthy whore_!”

 

That made Rey stop when she had already halfway unlocked the door. His voice sounded way angrier now. She had never heard such a strong emotion in a man’s voice. It was… unsettling, to say the least.

 

“Are you happy now?” he went on, bumping his fist on the door at every word. “Are you happy now, bitch? Open this fucking door, I need to talk to you!”

 

Rey quickly locked the door again and took a step back. He was way out of line. She didn’t even know of anyone named Janine living there. He was hallucinating.

 

“You took everything from me and you won’t even open the freaking door?! OPEN THE DOOR!”

 

The wood was shaking under his hits and Rey wasn’t sure if that weak lock would last. Panic dawned on her all of a sudden. What was she going to do if he managed to break in? She wasn’t sure talking was still an option, at this point. He was way too intoxicated.

 

Quickly, she grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter and dialed an emergency number. The call took long to connect and Rey kept sending worried glances at the door. Mister Morris was going on about this Janine, who by now Rey realized must have been his ex girlfriend, or wife. His words were getting increasingly offensive.

 

“ _What’s your emergency?_ ” came a tired a voice from the other side of the line.

 

Rey had never made emergencies calls before, so she had no idea how to explain the situation. “I… There’s someone at my door. A man. He’s… he’s my neighbor, he’s completely drunk and is trying… I think he’s trying to knock the door down.”

 

“ _Your full address, please._ ”

 

Rey proceeded to tell the woman, feeling already relieved. They were going to send someone immediately, weren’t they?

 

“How long will it take for the police to be here?”

 

“ _What is your name?_ ” The man’s cries were making it hard for her to even hear the woman’s words.

 

“Rey.”

 

“ _Alright Rey, listen._ ” The woman paused and Rey felt shivers running up her spine. She had a really bad feeling about it.

 

“ _There has been a major traffic accident a few blocks down from where you live, so I’m afraid they might take a while to reach you. Can you keep the situation under control until then?_ ”

 

Rey looked at the door. The old, rusty lock shuddered under every hit. She clutched the phone with both hands and swallowed. “I… I don’t think that I– I need help _now_.” Her voice was starting to break and she knew she was on the verge of freaking out, but she didn’t want to sound crazy on the phone.

 

“ _Rey. I’m here, listen to me,_ ” the woman’s voice sounded softer now. “ _What you need to do now is to block your door and find a safe room where you can lock yourself in until the police arrives. Can you do that, Rey?_ ”

 

Rey eyed the couch. It wasn’t too hard to move and it could serve the purpose well.

 

“I… think so.”

 

“ _Alright, go. I’ll be here._ ”

 

Rey slipped the phone in the pocket of her sweatpants and ran to the living room. She moved away the small table and pushed the couch all the way to the door, turning it around to block it horizontally. She felt immediately safer, but realized soon after that the man had stopped yelling. In fact, there was no sound coming from the outside.

 

 _Gone?_ , she wondered, but didn’t dare to move a single muscle. She stayed silent, trying to catch every sound from the corridor. Nothing. Just her heavy breathing resonated in her ears, along with the crazy beating of her heart.

 

“ _Rey?_ ”

 

Rey fished out the phone again. “I think…” she paused, glancing at the blocked door. “I think he’s gone now.”

 

The woman sounded almost as relieved as her when she spoke again. “ _That’s good. I sent you a patrol nonetheless, they’ll be there soon. Do you want me to stay with you until they arrive?_ ”

 

Rey thought about the accident and guessed there were many people who needed the emergency line more than her. “No– It’s fine now. Thank you.”

 

The woman renewed her advice and invited her to call again if anything happened. When Rey ended the call, she felt very much confused about what to do next. Rationally, she knew it would be better to get out of the house for a while. On any other day, she would have called Finn, he would have come to keep her company or to take her away for the night. Finn wasn’t an option this time around, though.

 

With not so steady hands, she took her dinner and moved to the kitchen counter. She should have locked herself in the bedroom, but she was too anxious about checking the door to do that.

 

She looked down at the cold omelette. She definitely wasn’t hungry anymore. She bit her lower lip and wondered if she should have just taken her coat and run out of there before Mister Morris could come back.

 

He didn’t give her the time.

 

Something crashed against her door once again, breaking the silence of the night. From the sound of it, a bottle or something as fragile. Rey was both surprised and terrified that despite all the noise, no one had shown up to check on the situation. She was completely isolated.

 

“You fucking bitch, you don’t wanna talk to me? I’m gonna tear this fucking door open and then we’ll see!”

 

He sounded even angrier than before, if possible. Rey realized he must have gone to drink some more before making a second attack. She was surprised he even managed to find the same apartment a second time.

 

Rey wasn’t new to the crippling fear that took over one’s body when becoming aware their life might be at risk. And yet, it didn’t really hit her until she saw that even her small couch was shaking under the man’s hits. He was kicking her door now, how much longer before he would just throw himself at it? And what would she do then?

 

Rey had no idea, but she knew what she would do now. She ran to her bedroom and locked the door with trembling hands, before hiding in the corner between the bed and the window. She didn’t even turn on the lights – she just stared at the door with wide eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

 

She could hear police sirens outside, but whenever they seemed to get close, they quickly passed by and got lost among the city noises again. Was the police ever coming?

 

Rey knew that she couldn’t wait to find out. She took her phone and looked for the first name that came to her mind. Then, she made a call.

 

“ _Who are you?_ ”

 

Ben Solo’s voice filled her ear and Rey felt so relieved she almost cried. “I– It’s Rey.”

 

There was a long pause on the other side. Then, a sigh. “ _I deleted your number. You should do the same. Bye._ ”

 

“No, wait– _wait!_ ”

 

She wasn’t sure if it was the cry or simply the desperation in her voice, but the man didn’t hang up. He did sound annoyed when he spoke again, though.

 

“ _What do you want?_ ”

 

“I’m home alone and there’s a drunk man outside of my door.”

 

“ _I don’t have anything to do with your ex-boyfriends._ ”

 

“He’s not–” she lowered her voice without a reason. “He’s my neighbor, he’s a middle-aged man who’s always drunk, but up until today he never bothered me. He’s been screaming and hitting my door for a while now. I’m scared he might break in, I don’t know what he would do. He sounds really out of it and he’s mad angry,” she noticed that her voice was starting to tremble and she hated that she was talking with Ben Solo out of all people. But judging from his bike and from the fact that he hung out at Miss Holdo’s cafe, he probably lived nearby. And the situation was too dangerous to hold back from asking for his help. “Can you… can you come here, please? I’m really scared and the police isn’t coming. I live two blocks down from the cafe, it’s a green building, number eight.”

 

There was silence from the other end. Rey clutched at her phone with both hands, trembling at every hit on the entrance door. She was sure Ben could hear Mister Morris’ voice as well. She closed her eyes, a few tears caught in her eyelashes.

 

“ _Ben_ ,” she pleaded.

 

Another long silence. And then, “ _Rey._ ”

 

She was happy he couldn’t see the hopeful look on her face. “Y– Yes?”

 

“ _Quick question,_ ” he said, sounding confused. “ _How is that_ my _problem?_ ”

 

Rey froze on the spot. No… He couldn’t– He couldn’t be _that_ mean…

 

“Ben– Please–” she tried, but the only answer she received were the empty rings of the disconnected call.

 

Rey looked at her phone in disbelief. Ben Solo, _that_ man– he wasn’t human. He couldn’t be human! They might have been far from being friends, but how could he just ignore someone’s plea for help? Didn’t he have any heart at all?

 

_I’m a really bad person._

 

He did say that. She hadn’t believed him then, but she did now. He really was the worst and the truth had been in front of her eyes all along. She had been fooled by his deep eyes and his subtle way of taking care of her – but was he, really? Maybe she was just reading too much into his selfish actions. He clearly didn’t care about her, or anyone, at all.

 

Rey quickly browsed through her phone book, cursing under her breath and finding no one who could help her. Miss Holdo lived quite far and the only other person who was close-by apparently didn’t care if she lived or die.

 

Several minutes passed, during which Rey started considering climbing down the building from the seventh floor. She could die, but she imagined what kind of things that man could do to her once he was inside the apartment and among the two, she honestly preferred facing the void.

 

 _I’m going insane_ , she thought, pressing both hands against her ears to block out the noises. As soon as she did so, everything went quiet again. But not for the reason she believed.

 

It took her a while to realize she wasn’t blocking out any sound. There just wasn’t any. She slowly removed her palms from her ears and listened. Police sirens in the distance, approaching. No sound from the entrance.

 

 _Has he gone drinking again?_ She couldn’t play that game for the whole night. She needed to get out of there.

 

Slowly, hesitantly, she unlocked her bedroom door and stepped outside. Even the muffled sound of her socks against the floor was too loud in that stillness. She was scared he might just be waiting for her to come out.

 

She looked at the door. The lock was still in place and the couch had just shifted a little. Remembering the hell he had been raising, she was surprised upon finding everything still in place. But what shocked her the most was the voice she heard from the corridor a moment later.

 

“That’s enough, old man.”

 

Rey’s eyes grew wide. She knew that deep voice. She knew it very well.

 

 _It can’t be_ , she thought in disbelief.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Mister Morris said, stumbling on the words.

 

Rey silently walked to the door. Being careful not to make any sound, she moved the couch just enough so that she could open the door of a few inches. She peered outside and flinched upon recognizing the two figures in the dim-lit space.

 

Mister Morris was a man in his fifties with greasy short hair that looked more grey than brown by now; he wore a very old jacket and pants that were clearly too large for him; on his shoes, stains of what Rey could guess was his own vomit. He had a broken bottle in his left hand and pieces of glass were scattered everywhere around his feet and in front of her door. He was so drunk that Rey could smell the alcohol from there. It was nauseating.

 

A few meters down the corridor stood another man, incredibly tall, with black shoulder-length hair. He had both hands in the pockets of his jeans and wore a dark leather jacket over a white tee. Rey held her breath.

 

Ben Solo took a few steps towards the drunk man, looking unimpressed. The height difference made Mister Morris take a step back in return.

 

“That bitch of my ex-wife lives here–” he turned to the door. “Janine! Come out and tell this asshole to leave! It’s none of his business!”

 

“Janine doesn’t live here, you dumbass,” Ben said, sounding even more annoyed than he looked. He was in front of the older man now and suddenly waved a hand in the air, looking disgusted. “Jeez, go home and take a shower. Did you drink the whole pub?”

 

Mister Morris was probably too drunk to even understand the insult, but he still looked offended. And also puzzled, somehow.

 

“If Janine doesn’t… doesn’t…” he had a really hard time finding the words. It was almost like watching a fish struggling with a net. He eventually looked at Ben straight in the eye, his face full of suspicion. “Then, who lives here?”

 

Ben tilted his head to the side. “My woman.”

 

Rey felt shy for no reason. She knew Ben had said it in hope to convince Mister Morris to leave, but it was embarrassing nonetheless. He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. That guy was truly something else.

 

Mister Morris didn’t like the answer, or maybe he didn’t understand it. Either way, he raised the hand holding the broken bottle and took a step forward.

 

“You’re the son of a bitch who took Janine away from me,” he growled.

 

Ben rolled his eyes. “I already told you, your woman doesn’t–”

 

The older man was having none of it. “Tell your disgusting whore that I won’t be satisfied until I will smash her head against that fucking door!”

 

Something in those words seemed to trigger Ben. Rey couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment his annoyed facade had fallen, all she knew was that suddenly, he looked completely emotionless. She had seen that expression before, when they fought in the campus. He was furious.

 

“It’s time for you to leave,” Ben said. There was something extremely dark in his voice now, a dangerous edge that served as a warning. It basically screamed _you better run._

 

Rey shivered, and the words weren’t even directed at her. She looked at Mister Morris and noticed that he seemed hesitant as well. That hesitation lasted barely more than the blink of an eye – like a wild animal put in a corner, Mister Morris did the only thing Rey wished he wouldn’t.

 

He attacked Ben.

 

Or better, he tried to attack Ben. When he raised the bottle above his head, Ben shielded himself with one arm, blocking the following blow almost too easily. The glass broke further, a rainfall of small pieces around their feet. All that was left in Mister Morris’ hand by the end of it was just the neck of the bottle.

 

He stumbled backwards as Ben strode further in a menacing manner. If he was hurt by the blow, he didn’t show it.

 

“Get lost,” he growled.

 

The drunk man continued to step back while keeping his eyes on Ben. If Rey had compared him to a wild animal just a moment before, now the scene seemed overturned. Mister Morris looked at Ben as if the latter were some fiery beast with bare teeth.

 

The sound of steps coming up to their floor diverged everyone’s attention elsewhere. Ben looked ahead, where Rey knew the corridor made a turn towards the stairs, but she couldn’t see anything.

 

Two agents eventually appeared from behind the corner and almost stumbled on Mister Morris, who had managed to ruin his escape by tripping over his own feet. One agent immediately pulled him up while the other glanced at Ben.

 

“We received a call for an attempted breaking and entering. Where is the person who made the call?”

 

Ben’s eyes immediately diverted to the small opening behind which Rey was hiding. He had been so quick, Rey wondered if he knew she was peeking all along. She blushed for no reason.

 

Ben walked to the door and leaned closer to the crack. “It’s safe now,” he murmured. For the first time, there wasn’t any arrogant or sarcastic edge to his voice.

 

Rey pushed away the couch, then slowly opened the door and stepped out. The confusion in Mister Morris’ eyes upon seeing her was so great, she didn’t know whether she wanted to laugh or cry.

 

After explaining in details the craziness of that night, Mister Morris was taken away as he still made a fuss about the mysterious Janine. Rey was asked to follow the agents to the police station to give her testimony, but they settled that she would come the next morning.

 

When everything in the building fell quiet again, Rey pushed her door open and stared blankly at her messy apartment. The couch was lying in the middle of the entrance and the table was in a corner of the living room where it clearly didn’t belong. It was like a earthquake had hit only Rey’s home.

 

She just stared, arms lifeless at her side, trying to process everything that had happened. She could feel Ben’s presence behind her and realized that it stressed her almost as much as having a drunk man yelling outside her door.

 

How was she supposed to face him? Everything was still very much confused after their fight –  she had been impulsive, he had been a prick, they clearly were people who weren’t supposed to spend time together and she surely didn’t wish otherwise.

 

And yet, he was there. He had come for her. He had put himself in a dangerous situation for her, without any hesitation. Hell, it took him a few minutes to arrive after her call. Only a few minutes.

 

_The call._

 

Rey couldn’t explain that either. He didn’t sound like he would come to the rescue, he didn’t sound like he cared at all. So why?

 

“Ben,” she said, turning around and spotting him at the end of the corridor. So lost in her thoughts, she had not realized he was leaving.

 

He stopped, already on the stairs, and looked back at her. The look on his face told Rey he didn’t expect anything in return for that night, which was another thing that unsettled her. That just wasn’t the Ben Solo she knew, the Ben Solo everyone on campus claimed to know. The selfish, arrogant, self-centered asshole who only moved his ass if he had something to gain from it.

 

A thought hit her. Maybe no one really knew Ben Solo at all. Would that be surprising? No. He had built a wall around himself, much like Rey. It was easier to just not let anyone in, sometimes. Rey had her reasons for it. What were Ben’s reasons?

 

Rey never thought or cared about understanding him. She thought he had him all figured out already. But now, she knew she at least had to try.

 

She swallowed her insecurity as she kept staring into his eyes. “Would you mind... staying a little longer?”

 

Ben seemed to consider her proposal, then took a step back from the stairs and considered her a bit more. Eventually, he approached her and she invited him in.

 

Once the door was closed behind them, it dawned on Rey that they were alone in her small apartment with all the lights off, and it made her anxious. But when she turned on the light, he was in the middle of the living room, several feet away from her and was looking around the room with his hands once again in his pockets. Rey didn’t know if he was being considerate of her, but she mentally thanked him because she could barely hold his stare. She was feeling embarrassed because of the events of that night, because she had to call _him_ , a complete stranger, to help her and because he was now in her ridiculously small apartment, which was also messier than it had ever been.

 

Rey decided that lingering on those thoughts would not make her feel better, so she tried to think about something to say and cleared her throat.

 

“That was a very smart trick, where did you learn that?” She tried to let out a chuckle, but it sounded almost too fake.

 

“What?”

 

Ben managed to meet her eyes, but it was just for a second because Rey immediately looked away.

 

“With the cops,” she explained. “The way you convinced them that there was no need for me to follow them… how did you say? “If the victim is in a state of shock, they’re not required to give their testimony immediately after the fact”... It was awesome. Do you study law?”

 

Ben didn’t reply to that, but Rey noticed the smallest wince on his face. Confused, she looked away because she didn’t want to get caught staring at his face, and in doing so, she noticed a trail of small drops going from the door all the way to his feet.

 

“...Your arm,” she remembered. She noticed just then that he was keeping his right arm unnaturally still and when she approached him, she noticed the cut in the black leather.

 

Ben flinched when she took his arm by the elbow to take a closer look, but didn’t pull away, even though he wished she would let go.

 

“You’re wounded,” Rey murmured in shock. There was indeed a long cut on his forearm that started a few inches below his wrist and proceeded diagonally across his skin. It wasn’t bleeding much, to her relief, but it was all the same a bad one. Rey’s shoulders deflated in dismay. It was her fault if Mister Morris had attacked him.

 

Her lips became a tight line as she considered the situation. She couldn’t leave him like that, it was the least she could do for him after what he had done for her.

 

“Come,” she said, taking him by his wrist and dragging him along to her bedroom. The living room was a mess, no way she would let him settle there.

 

Ben’s eyes grew wide when he realized where they were going. “Wait, what are you–”

 

“Sit here,” she ordered, pointing at her bed. Then, she disappeared in the other room.

 

Ben looked around: it was a small room, but totally comfortable. The bed was wide and looked very soft; there was a puff chair in a corner and a normal chair in the other corner, covered in clothes – it made him smile, without a reason. A closet and a small dresser were squeezed one beside the other along the wall; a large window with a view on the main street below was on the other one.

 

Ben slowly and carefully sat on the bed, as he was told, and got rid of his leather jacket. For some reason, it felt really wrong to be there, in that girl’s room. It wasn’t his first time being in the room of a girl he barely knew, but this time felt definitely different. He wasn’t there to do… stuff. He was there for…

 

He had no idea. Just how he had no idea why he had rushed to her rescue after that call. Chivalry would have been the most obvious answer, but Ben was well-aware he was no knight in shining armor. He wasn’t as terrible as he wanted people to believe, but he wasn’t a inherently good person either. He had not lied about this.

 

And yet, he was in that girl’s room with an aching arm for a blow he had taken while defending her. Life was truly unpredictable.

 

Rey came back with a first-aid kit and the face of someone who knew exactly what to do. She sat beside Ben and opened the slightly rusty box, her eyes lingering on his bare arm. It looked way thicker without the jacket and she was somehow surprised by how well-built he actually was.

 

“You keep a first-aid kit?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

 

“Everyone should have one at home,” was Rey’s stern reply.

 

“Yeah, but no one actually does.”

 

Rey ignored him and proceeded to clean and disinfect his wound, making sure to be as careful and delicate as possible, even though Ben wasn’t making a single sound. He was busy staring at her and at her focused expression. That girl was never what he expected: as soon as he thought her figured out, she went and did something that caught him unprepared. Maybe that was why he had accepted to help her in that stupid love game in the first place; she was fun.

 

Rey fumbled with the box until she found a few inches of clean bandage. Her lips curled in disappointment. “I’m going to make you a temporary dressing, but you better go to the hospital and have it checked. They’ll do a better work than mine.”

 

“It’s not necessary,” Ben retorted, watching as she tilted her head while she wrapped his arm with the white cloth. Some hair shifted from her neck, revealing a small portion of skin that was lighter than the rest. The shape of it resembled a half moon and was closer to her nape.

 

“How did you get that scar?” he asked before he could stop himself.

 

Rey flinched as if someone had just passed her with a powerful electric shock. “I was very young, I don’t remember.”

 

She was lying and wasn’t even good at it, but Ben dropped the topic because it was clearly something that made her uncomfortable. It was none of his business anyway.

 

Rey fixed the bandage with a piece of medical tape and Ben noticed that her small hands lingered a bit longer than necessary on his skin before dropping on her lap. She was suddenly avoiding his stare again and was also torturing her lower lip in the process. Ben waited, still, because he guessed she was about to say or ask something that she found difficult to formulate.

 

Rey eventually escaped her fidgety state and started putting everything back in the box. When she closed it, she stopped for a moment as if frozen in time and pushed some hair behind her ear, swallowing hard.

 

“Thank you,” she said quietly, not daring to look him in the eye.

 

She didn’t wait for an answer. She got up abruptly and took the box with her out of the room.

 

“I’m not studying law,” came Ben’s voice from behind all of a sudden.

 

Rey stopped in her tracks just outside of the bedroom. Ben didn’t say anything else, but she knew he wasn’t done talking. She turned around: he was sitting with his arms abandoned on his thighs and he was looking at his feet in deep thought.

 

“My mother is a lawyer,” he explained. “She’s pretty famous. You probably know her…”

 

He seemed to hesitate for a long moment before revealing the name. “Leia Organa.”

 

Rey’s eyes grew wide. “Leia Organa?” she repeated in disbelief. “The Leia Organa of the Crait Industries scandal, the Leia Organa of the Palpatine case?” she rushed back into the room and sat beside Ben again. “ _That_ Leia Organa?”

 

Ben stared at her with the smallest grin, but Rey was too busy trying to process the new information to notice the sadness in his eyes.

 

“Your mother is a legend, she’s like a celebrity!” Her enthusiasm soon died down at a new realization. “...You’re rich. You’re filthy rich and yet you made me treat you!”

 

Ben nipped her complaints in the bud. “My family is rich. I’m not.”

 

“How can you–”

 

“I don’t live with them and I don’t want anything to do with them either.”

 

Rey felt a prick right in her chest, a sort of painful connection to the man in front of her, despite everything.

 

“...what about your father?” she dared to ask.

 

Ben chuckled, a dark chuckle that didn’t reach his eyes. “Ever heard of Han Solo?”

 

Rey found herself being shocked for the second time in the span of minutes. “The industry magnate?”

 

“Yeah, whatever that means,” Ben said. “It probably just means he’s good at scamming people. I wouldn’t know, since he left my mother when I was still in middle school and I barely hear from him since then.” He briefly looked outside of the window, but his gaze quickly dropped on the floor again. “I’ve learned more about my father from newspapers and magazines than from him directly.”

 

Rey was well-aware that for some unknown reason, Ben Solo was opening up to her completely, pouring his most honest feelings out for everyone to see. The least one could do when facing someone who so generously wore their heart on their sleeve was to be honest in return.

 

She pushed all her hair on one shoulder in one graceful move, revealing one side of her neck and the scar on it. The movement caught Ben’s eye, who turned around to find Rey’s stare firmly in his, for the first time that night.

 

“The day my father left, my mother broke down. She had never been completely sane, but that was the last straw for her. She blacked out and started throwing everything she could put her hands on at me. We were in the kitchen, so it was mostly plates. A sharp fragment sliced my skin right here,” she tapped on the scar, eyes still in Ben’s. Then, she let her hair fall over her neck again and glanced down. “I was nine.”

 

Ben’s stare lingered on her skin even after it was once again shielded by the curtain of brown hair. All he could think about were the words he had said to her: _your parents probably raised you like a princess, wrapped in cotton wool._ He felt incredibly stupid now.

 

When he met Rey’s gaze again, he knew she knew what he was thinking about. And it was probably what she was thinking about as well.

 

“It’s alright,” Rey said first, “you didn’t know.” She paused, lips tight, then added, “and I didn’t know either. About your parents. I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

 

Ben just nodded, for once not finding anything smart to say. Rey attempted a smile.

 

“Do you want anything? A coffee? A glass of water?”

 

Ben shook his head this time. “I think I should go,” he paused, unsure of what to say next. “It’s late.”

 

It was indeed late and he was starting to feel strangely comfortable in that room, so it was definitely time to leave. He didn’t even know why he had slapped his whole family history in the face of a girl he barely knew. He would have time to reflect on his recklessness once in the darkness of his bedroom.

 

Rey felt rather disappointed, even though she didn’t know why. Was talking to Ben Solo that pleasant? No, it wasn’t that. There was something else, something she couldn’t quite pinpoint yet.

 

“You sure? It’s not a problem for me.”

 

“No, I–”  Ben stood up and looked around for his jacket. He wore it quickly and met Rey’s stare as he did so. “I better go.”

 

She moved aside to let him pass and followed him to the door. He walked fast, as if he couldn’t wait to be out of there. Rey tugged at his sleeve and stopped him before he could step out of the apartment.

 

“Ben, wait.”

 

Ben looked at the thin fingers wrapped around his jacket and then at her. Rey’s gaze immediately dropped on the ground as he did so, but then she found enough courage to meet his eyes again.

 

“I know this is awkward, but I was thinking maybe… that maybe we could be friends?”

 

He looked at the ceiling and pursued his lips as if considering her proposal. Rey suddenly remembered why she found him annoying, but she also knew that he was just pretending to think about it.

 

“I guess,” he said at last, removing her fingers from his jacket with a grin. He walked out without saying anything else.

 

Rey shook her head with a smile of her own. She realized she was starting to know him better, so maybe he would have a hard time surprising her from that moment on.

 

As if sensing her thoughts, Ben suddenly appeared in front of her doorstep again, startling her. He placed both hands on jambs, one on each side, blocking the entrance.

 

“Ben?”

 

He wasn’t looking at her and he seemed slightly conflicted too.

 

“About Poe,” he mumbled. “I will help you. For free.”

 

Rey couldn’t hide the shock on her face. “Why?”

 

A million answers seemed to pass through Ben’s mind as his expression changed several times in the span of a single moment. In the end, he settled for his usual smug grin.

 

“Because it’s fun.”

 

As she watched him disappear into the night, Rey wondered if she would ever figure out Ben Solo at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to start these end notes by saying all I know about American law comes from TV shows and I wasn't sure about what could be allowed or not regarding witnesses, so I just made up a law right there and then and I have no idea if it actually exists. 
> 
> I'm not really satisfied with this chapter (except for the last part, maybe) but I got tired of trying to fix it, so I hope it's still enjoyable as it is. Finally, the two lovebirds are starting to get to know each other! For Ben's family situation, I tried to translate his canon family history in a modern setting and I thought having a mother with such a time-consuming job and a father who spends more time abroad than at home would be perfect for his background. Regarding Rey, in the canon universe her parents have thrown her away, so I made up a background in which their parents are basically absent from her life, and when they're present (like her mother) they're just abusive and don't really care about her at all. But we'll know more about Rey's family in the future chapters!
> 
> The song for this chapter is Nightcall (also, I added songs for the previous chapters as well, so go check if you want!), but I actually spent the whole time listening to Wilson by Fall Out Boy while writing, except that the lyrics don't match Rey and Ben's current relationship status. Too bad! 
> 
> The idea for Mister Morris' attack came to me from the college stories of one of my friends who studied abroad and had drunk people crushing her place every other day, plus one or two times she had thieves breaking into her apartment. And she didn't even live in a bad neighborhood! Life's crazy sometimes.
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments and also WOAH!!!! I reached 100 kudos!!!! That's amazing ;~; If you feel like it, please continue to let me know what you think, even if you disliked something it's okay, I'm open to both good and bad comments as long as they're constructive :3
> 
> See you (hopefully) soon with the next update~


	4. Of Friendship and Faulty Plans

**4\. Of Friendship and Faulty Plans**

 

 

 

 _What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way_  
_What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you_  
_No, I don't wanna fall in love_  
_No, I don't wanna fall in love_  
_with you_

\- Wicked Game, Chris Isaak

 

 

 

Finn’s eyebrows were so furrowed they almost formed a single thick line across his forehead. Rey was carefully avoiding his piercing stare as she pretended to be moving her peas aside with the fork.

 

“I’ve been away two days,” he said.

 

Rey was focused on one particular pea now. It was way bigger than the others, how was that possible? She swallowed nothing. “Yes.”

 

“ _Two_ days, Rey,” Finn repeated.

 

Rey just nodded this time. Wow, that pea was really–

 

Finn kicked away the pea with his own fork in a jerk. “Look at me.”

 

Rey reluctantly raised her gaze and tried to feign indifference. It didn’t work.

 

Finn leaned closer, quickly glanced around them and whispered, “Two days, and you had the time to be almost assaulted _and_ become friends with Ben Solo?”

 

In the end, they didn’t manage to meet until the day after Finn came back and now that he was updated about everything, there were a few things he found disturbing, to say the least.

 

Rey raised her own eyebrow dangerously high. “Excuse me? I didn’t ask to be assaulted, just so you know.”

 

“You know what I mean,” Finn retorted, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I shouldn’t have left,” he murmured soon after.

 

“Are you more concerned about the assault or about Ben Solo?”

 

Finn flinched. “About the assault, of course!” He sounded offended, but he had to stop for a moment and consider the situation nonetheless. “Even though this thing about that psycho is pretty messed up as well…”

 

Rey was playing with the peas once again. “Don’t call him that,” she mumbled, not looking at her friend.

 

Finn recoiled in shock. “Are you _defending_ him now?”

 

Rey shrugged, still avoiding his stare. “He’s not as bad as we thought.”

 

“Have you _seen_ him? Everyone says he’s a prick, it can’t be a coincidence.”

 

“He _saved_ me, Finn.” Rey stated firmly, piercing him with her best icy stare. “That’s enough proof for me.”

 

She had not told Finn every detail about that night – she had omitted inviting Ben inside and taking care of his wound, along with everything they had shared with each other about their families. She usually told everything to her best friend, but this time she felt like it wasn’t the right time. He wasn’t ready to hear the truth about Ben Solo and she had no right to share Ben’s personal history with other people.

 

Finn bit his lower lip, well-aware he had to choose his next words carefully. “...What if he’s just pretending to be a good guy to get close to you? You don’t know what it’s going on inside his head. Maybe he’s just trying to gain your trust so he can…”

 

“So he can _what_?” Rey interrupted, annoyed. “Why do you dislike him so much?”

 

Finn looked conflicted. “He’s just… I don’t know. I have a bad feeling about him, I can’t shake it off. I’m worried he might turn out to be even worse than what people say. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I let you get hurt by some arrogant asshole…”

 

“Arrogant asshole?” Ben Solo echoed, showing up in front of their table with an overused shoulder bag lazily hanging by his shoulder. “Someone I know?”

 

Rey’s eyes lit up and the change didn’t go unnoticed in Finn’s eyes. “Ben!”

 

“Hola,” Ben dropped the bag under the table and sat in front of her – and therefore, beside Finn. The latter jerked aside as if he had just been stung by a bee, then furrowed his eyebrows when Ben stole a few of his fries without asking for permission.

 

Rey met Finn’s stare, which was a mix between utter shock and fright. He silently nodded at Ben while keeping eye-contact with her.

 

“Right– Finn, this is Ben,” Rey said, glancing nervously at her friend. “Ben, this is my best friend, Finn.”

 

Finn reluctantly reached out to shake hands with him, but Ben merely nodded at him in acknowledgment as he chewed on Finn’s fries. Rey could see that the gesture alone had just increased his friend’s hatred towards him.

 

“So, _Ben_ –” Finn cleared his throat and spared a glance at Rey, while she wished she wasn’t there to witness what was about to happen. “What are you studying exactly?”

 

There was a subtle _are you even studying anything at all?_ hidden behind Finn’s words that made Rey want to run away. She knew Ben Solo well enough to know it was better not to start a fight with him.

 

Ben stole half of Rey’s bread and looked completely unaffected by the provocation in Finn’s words. He wasn’t even looking at him, actually.

 

“Fine arts,” he said.

 

It was definitely not what neither Finn nor Rey expected from such a scruffy-looking guy. Rey was the first one to recover after a way-too-awkward moment of silence.

 

“Really? It was one of my picks too,” she tilted her head. “You must be good at drawing, then.”

 

Ben looked at her and started laughing wholeheartedly all of a sudden. Rey’s heart skipped a beat – his laugh was so deep and pleasant to the ear. It was the first time she ever heard him laugh like that.

 

“W– what?” she mumbled. “What did I say?”

 

Ben wiped his mouth with Finn’s untouched napkin and shook his head, still smiling. “Nothing, it’s just what everyone says when they hear someone is studying Fine arts, as if it could be reduced to that particular skill alone.”

 

Rey blushed. “I didn’t mean–”

 

Ben dismissed the topic with a vague gesture of his hand. “It’s nothing, besides– I wanted to ask you to be our class model.”

 

Rey pointed a finger at herself, wide eyes full of confusion. “Me?”  

 

Finn squinted his eyes. “What is it about?”

 

There was so much suspicion in his voice, Ben couldn’t help but turn around to face him properly.

 

“We’re gonna have her naked for a few hours so we can study the curves of a woman’s body,” he waited for his words to sink in, and when Finn’s face started to turn red, he grinned and continued, “then we’re all going to get naked and have a big orgy. Wasn’t it obvious?”

 

It took Finn a good moment to realize he was making fun of him. It didn’t make him any less angry, especially seeing the look of pure embarrassment on Rey’s face.

 

“ _You_ bast–”

 

“Dameron! This way!” Ben said all of a sudden, waving a hand in the air. Then, he took in the pleasant view of Rey’s red cheeks and leaned closer to her across the table. “I was joking, by the way. We’re way past human body studies.”

 

Finn rolled his eyes, but his phone started ringing before he could say any more poisonous words to that brat.

 

“I’ll be right back,” he mumbled, eyeing both Rey and Ben as he walked away. Could he really leave her with that guy and his friend?

 

Rey had no chance to reply, because Poe-freaking-Dameron was suddenly sitting right next to her. She was immediately overwhelmed by the strong scent of his aftershave. Then, she realized she was so close to Poe Dameron, she could _actually_ smell his aftershave. She wasn’t sure what expression she was wearing, but she was quite positive it wasn’t anything clever.

 

“Solo,” Poe said, nodding at Ben with a huge grin. Then, he turned around to find Rey with her hand ready for a shake.

 

“I’m Rey,” she said, trying to sound at least half as cool as her name.

 

Poe smiled softly. “I know. We’ve met before, remember?”

 

“Of course,” Rey stuttered, lowering her gaze. _I didn’t think_ you _remembered me_ , she mentally added.

 

“So,” Poe began, leaning back against the chair and staring at Ben, “why did you want to meet me here? You hate the cafeteria.”

 

Rey’s head shot in Ben’s direction. He did it for her, didn’t he? He was keeping his promise to help her. For the first time, she felt a wave of pure affection for the man in front of her.

 

Ben nodded at Rey. “This girl here is a bit slow when it comes to Skywalker’s lectures. I mean, how to blame her, right? The old man talks in riddles, he should just retire before he completely loses it. Anyway,” he passed a hand through his hair, “she needs some help to prepare his exam. I thought you could give her a hand.”

 

Ben looked at Rey with a face that said _and something else too, sooner or later_. He was clearly having fun, which was the reason he was helping Rey in the first place, so she could not react to his annoyingly amused expression.

 

“Right, Rey?” Ben pushed, giving her a soft kick under the table.

 

Rey was used to staring at Poe Dameron, but she wasn’t used to Poe Dameron staring back at her. Fearing of losing herself in those dark eyes, she looked at Ben and nodded before looking back at Poe.

 

“Don’t feel obliged, I understand you’re a busy person,” she added, dropping her gaze on the small space in between them. _So small_ , she thought, _I’m so close to him. And he smells so good._ She furrowed her eyebrows, _His hands are tiny. So cute._

 

Poe smiled with what Rey felt was the intensity of a thousand suns. “No problem at all. Besides, Ben needs some help with Skywalker’s class, too.”

 

Rey’s eyes grew wide and when she looked at Ben, he noticed that he was quite taken aback as well.

 

“We can meet in the library tomorrow after lunch, how about it?” Poe continued, unaware of the shock surrounding him.

 

“I don’t need your help, Dameron.” Ben said, an eyebrow dangerously raised.

 

“You failed that exam, Ben.”

 

“I didn’t show up at all, it’s different.”

 

“It’s not something you should be proud of!”

 

Rey interrupted the increasingly heated conversation with the face of someone who was feeling slightly nauseated. “So… we’re going to study together? All of us?”

 

Poe showed a huge smile as he nodded. “It’s going to be fun!”

 

Rey’s shoulders sank.

 

Ben- _fucking_ -Solo and his faulty plans.

 

 

xxx

 

 

Rey glanced at the customer with annoyance.

 

“A Disappointment Spice Latte with extra Idiocy, I guess?”

 

Ben rolled his eyes. “Come on.”

 

“Why are you here, exactly? Aren’t there other cafes in the neighborhood you can infest?” Rey continued, pretending to be writing on her notepad. She was openly frowning and Ben hated to admit that he found even that cranky part of her somehow amusing.

 

“How would I know he would offer to help me as well?” he tried.

 

Rey placed one hand on her hip and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “You didn’t know your best friend would care enough about you to offer his help about the exam you failed? Yeah, completely unpredictable.” She rolled her eyes. “Besides, you didn’t tell me you failed it. I saw you going to class that day.”

 

“I didn’t go in,” he shrugged, then looked around. The cafe was almost empty. “Can you take a break? Just a few minutes.”

 

Rey found that it was hard to deny Ben Solo something when he looked at you straight in the eye. There was something magnetic about those golden-brown pupils.

 

She placed the notepad on the table and sat in front of him, arms crossed and skepticism written all over her face.

 

Ben’s fingers were playing with a napkin, folding and unfolding the corners until it was just a crumpled piece of paper. Rey briefly observed his fidgeting and noticed that he was staring at it as well. Was he… nervous?

 

“Your neighbor…” he began after some time, “is it alright now?”

 

 _Are you alright?_ were the words his whole body language were screaming.

 

Rey slowly uncrossed her arms. Somehow, that question really hit her. It was a mean thing to say, but she didn’t think he cared enough about her to still wonder about the accident. Clearly, she had misjudged him once again.

 

“Yes…” she slipped both hands in the front pocket of her apron and shrugged, looking outside of the window. “I went to the police station, but I didn’t want to press charges against him, I just wanted to be sure he would not do it again, to anyone. He didn’t remember anything about that night,” she slowly shook her head. “They called his family, he has a sister in town apparently. She was so embarrassed, I felt bad for her. She promised she would send him to some rehab clinic. The police told her that if he doesn’t complete the program, he’ll have to go to jail. I think he might make it,” she shrugged again, as if it didn’t touch her. As if she wasn’t even part of that story.

 

Ben didn’t believe her act. He was good at reading people and he knew that was just another one of her defense mechanisms. Acting like nothing was wrong, like she couldn’t be anything but ‘alright’ all the time. He knew because he was the same, too. It was just easier to pretend like nothing was ever wrong. Most people wouldn’t understand and those who cared about you enough to understand would be pained to know you’re not alright. It was just easier to fake it.

 

But it was also _so_ tiring.

 

“Rey,” he said, voice modulated in a way he knew would catch her attention.

 

Rey turned away from the window to look at him and noticed that he had stopped playing with the napkin, his fingers now open wide on the table. She suddenly remembered about Poe’s hands and how she thought they were small. They weren’t, she realized – it was just that Ben’s hands were huge in comparison.

 

“Yes?” she pushed, when he didn’t say a word.

 

Ben wasn’t sure what to say. Every word going through his head now would sound way too cheesy and totally not like him. He realized he wanted to comfort her, but didn’t know how. He then wondered why he felt the urge to comfort a girl he barely knew. Was it because he felt like she was similar to him? Was he trying to help her in a way he couldn’t do for himself?

 

His lips parted to say something. What, he didn’t know. But she expected to hear something by now and he couldn’t allow himself to look like a fool.

 

Rey had leaned closer without knowing. Whatever Ben was trying to tell her must have been pretty important because he looked like he was having a hard time saying the words and he was the one avoiding her stare, for once. Her heart was beating increasingly fast.

 

“Rey,” came Miss Holdo’s voice from the counter. And just like that, the moment was broken.

 

Rey jerked up by reflex. “Y– Yes,” she turned around. “Yes, coming!”

 

She glanced one last time back at Ben before leaving. He was looking at her like he had something stuck in his throat. She would have paid to know what was going on inside his head.

 

Miss Holdo must have read something in her expression, because she got closer to her and made sure to give her back in Ben’s direction.

 

“He’s cute,” she said, crossing her arms. “He looks smart, too. Are you dating?”

 

Rey froze, holding a cup mid-air. “Sorry?”

 

“Cute isn’t actually the right word,” Miss Holdo continued, looking deep in thought. “He doesn’t give off that childish vibe most guys his age do. He looks… charming.”

 

Rey chuckled. “He would surely agree.”

 

Miss Holdo’s gaze softened. “Finally, a smile. It’s been a long time.”

 

Rey lowered her head and turned away. “I’m sorry, I always make you worry.” She paused, then sighed. “We’re not dating.”

 

“Oh,” Miss Holdo commented, glancing at Ben and sounding disappointed. “Too bad. He has really deep eyes.”

 

Rey turned around. “How–”

 

The woman looked offended. “I have eyes too.” She waved casually in her direction. “Bring him a coffee. It’s on the house.”

 

Rey was bewildered. “Why?”

 

Miss Holdo sighed. “That boy has been here for three hours because he didn’t know when you’d come. And you’re telling me you’re not even dating him. This degree of dedication deserves some kind of reward.”

 

Rey stared at Ben. He was typing away on his phone and had not ordered anything. Why was he there in the first place?

 

She brought her confusion to the table along with a coffee. “Here.”

 

“I… didn’t order anything,” Ben replied with equal confusion.

 

“It’s on the house,” Rey said, hand on her hip. “You’ve been here three hours and you didn’t even order anything?”

 

Ben was taken aback. “How do you know…?”

 

 _Crap_ , she thought. He probably didn’t want her to know. It totally clashed with the ‘cool’ image he was clearly trying to keep up.

 

“Oh… it’s just that my boss saw you here,” she waved casually in the direction of the counter. “She thought you were a friend of mine.”

 

“She?” Ben echoed.

 

The change would’ve gone unnoticed in most people’s eyes, but Rey was especially skilled at detecting the smallest shift in someone’s expression and Ben’s face right now had just grown colder.

 

He got up and took his shoulder bag. “You know what? You don’t need to worry. I’m not showing up tomorrow, so you can have Poe for yourself.”

 

He was grinning, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Rey knew something wasn’t quite right, but pretended like she didn’t notice.

 

“Thank you,” she smiled cautiously.

 

Ben glanced at her with what he probably thought was one of his usual sly smirks, except it came out looking like a grimace. Rey furrowed her eyebrows as she watched him leave without a word.

 

She turned around and spotted Miss Holdo looking at her. She probably watched the whole scene, so Rey shrugged as to say she had no idea what had just happened. Miss Holdo rolled her eyes and shook her head with a long sigh.

 

 

xxx

 

 

 

Poe was sitting near the wide window, eyes focused on the pages of a big book as his black curls fell perfectly over his eyes. The sunlight seemed to create a magical aura around his persona, or maybe it was just Rey’s imagination.

 

A few meters from the desk, she became suddenly aware of her own steps, so much that she seemed to forget how to walk properly. She was sure someone watching her in that moment would think she were an idiot, and she felt exactly like one.

 

 _You’re here to study_ , she reminded herself, but she was never good at lying, especially to herself.

 

The dark-haired man sensed her presence and looked up, a bright smile opening on his lips at the sight of Rey. “Hello.”

 

Rey smiled back, shifting a few locks away from her face. Her hair was caught in a single braid lying on her shoulder, that day. “Am I late?”

 

“Not at all, I’m always a bit early for everything.”

 

From the way his books were scattered across the desk, Rey could tell he had been there for a while, but he chose not to hold it against her. His kindness was one of the things she liked the most about him.

 

She sat in front of him and was only vaguely aware of the silly smile on her lips. “You’ll find out I’m a really good student.”

 

“But I’m a really bad teacher,” Poe retorted. Then, seeing her puzzled expression, he quickly added, “As in, strict. A strict teacher.”

 

Rey chuckled. “You definitely don’t look like one.”

 

“You’ll see.”

 

He smirked and her heart skipped a beat. He was so charming and the thought of having so many afternoons ahead to spend together filled her with happiness. It was her only chance. She would never get to meet with Poe alone in any other way. She had to get him to ask her out before the tutoring ended – or she had to find the right moment to ask him out herself. Either way, she had to get close to him first.

 

She mentally thanked Ben for getting himself out of the way.

 

“Too early.”

 

The loud voice seemed to echo on the walls of the otherwise quiet room. Poe looked up in surprised; Rey froze on the spot.

 

“We’re not early,” Poe stated, calmly, as he went through the pages of a book. “You’re late.”

 

Ben Solo dropped his bag on the table in front of Rey and took the seat beside Poe. He wore the most obnoxious grin on his lips, the I’m-gonna-play-some-bad-joke grin, like the first day she met him.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

It came out sounding harsher than she meant to. Both Poe and Ben looked at her, the former with confusion and the latter with something she didn’t quite get, but that made her feel guilty.

 

“To study?” Ben said.

 

Rey lowered her gaze. “Y-yeah, I meant… you are so late I thought you were not coming anymore.”

 

Ben smiled. “I wouldn’t miss Poe’s tutoring for the world.”

 

There was something extremely unpleasant in the way he smiled and Rey felt a rush of pure resentment for the man. Why would he promise to help her and leave her alone with Poe, only to go back on his word the day after? She was starting to remember why she always disliked Ben Solo in the first place.

 

“Whatever,” she murmured, pretending to be going through some notes.

 

Poe seemed to be missing out on what was really going on between the two, but whether he noticed or not, he didn’t show it.

 

Rey had played that afternoon a million times in her head, but it ended up being very different from her romantic imagination. Whenever Poe asked a question, Ben was the first to answer, and even when Poe asked her directly, Ben made sure to talk over her.

 

“Alright Ben, but I was trying to ask Rey this time,” said Poe at some point, clearly exhausted by his friend’s behavior that he didn’t understand in the least.

 

Ben shrugged. “She doesn’t know the answer.”

 

“How do _you_ know?” Rey pressed, arms crossed and one eyebrow dangerously raised.

 

The dark-haired man scoffed. “Because if you knew anything, you would have answered at least one of the questions he asked.”

 

Rey had reached her limit long before. She got up abruptly and made use of her best fake-polite smile.

 

“Can I talk to you for a second, _Ben_?”

 

Ben yawned without minding the absence of a hand before his mouth. “Do you really need to?”

 

“Yes,” she glanced nervously at Poe, who was trying his best to pretend he wasn’t finding any of that situation extremely weird, “... _yes_ , I do.”

 

Out in the corridor, Rey rested her back against the wall and once again crossed her arms to her chest. Ben stopped in front of her, both hands in his pockets and the face of someone who was thinking he was wasting his time.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Straight to the point, huh?”

 

Rey rolled her eyes. “Do you think you can try not to be a sarcastic little shit for once?”

 

“You know, I keep a small notebook where I carefully write down every single insult you threw at me since the first day we spoke to each other – which was like a week ago – and funnily enough the pages are already running out, so you might want to slow down a bit with the sharp tongue, wouldn’t you?”

 

Rey was unimpressed. “You’re right, I think you talk more than enough for the both of us.”

 

Ben pointed a finger-gun at her and clicked his tongue. “That’s exactly what I was talking about, thanks for proving my point.”

 

Rey sighed. “Listen, what is your problem exactly? You just told me you would help me out with Poe and now you’re doing all the contrary.”

 

“How, exactly?”

 

He was looking away, or rather trying to avoid staring directly at her. She was good at sensing his emotions, too good in fact. He didn’t want her to know what was going through his mind.

 

It was too late for that, though. Rey knew something wasn’t quite right and she would not stop digging until the truth came out.

 

“You told me you would leave us alone during the tutoring, for a start,” she reminded.

 

Ben crossed his arms and shrugged. “Oh sorry, but I thought I was doing it for a friend.”

 

“We _are_ friends.”

 

“Are we?”

 

Rey frowned. Ben was looking at her now and he looked… Rey had never seen such an expression on his face, but she could only describe it as hurt.

 

As soon as their eyes met, Ben averted his gaze. Realizing he had gotten closer to Rey, he also took a step back.

 

“I’m missing something here,” she said. “When did I ever say we’re not friends? I was the one who asked you to be friends in the first place!”

 

“Then, what about yest–” he stopped, bit his tongue and lowered his head. He ran a hand through his hair, nervously, then took a deep breath. “You know what, forget it.”

 

Rey was far from forgetting anything of that conversation. “Yest?” she echoed. “Yesterday? What happened yesterday?”

 

“I said forget it.”

 

Rey was already going through the whole day in her mind. She was pretty sure there was no mention of friendship during their meeting in the cafeteria, then they met again while she was at work and Miss Holdo told her to bring a coffee–

 

“Wait,” she pushed herself off the wall. “Is this about Miss Holdo?”

 

“What?” Ben was bewildered. “No! It’s about you and your lies.”

 

“My lies?!”

 

“What’s so wrong in being friends with me that you need to deny it in front of other people?”

 

“When did I ever do that?”

 

A couple of people passing by glanced at them with disapproval.They both realized they were raising their voices.

 

Ben was tired of that conversation and was also slowly becoming aware that he was getting ridiculously emotional for something he didn’t even consider important until two days before.

 

“You said that woman thought I was your friend, as if it was just her opinion,” he explained, pinching the bridge of his nose and feeling a headache coming up. “As if _you_ did not think the same.”

 

Rey raised both eyebrows and crossed her arms again. “Do you even hear yourself? Did it occur to you that it could be just a misunderstanding?”

 

Ben chuckled. “How could that be a mis–” he trailed off, eyes growing wide in realization. “Oh.”

 

Rey nodded. “She thought you were my friend and she was right. I confirmed it.”

 

“You confirmed it,” Ben echoed in a flat tone. He was too busy asking himself just how much more of a fool could he make himself in front of that girl. Something about her always made him lose his cool and act mindlessly. Maybe because she was always trying to get on his nerves, whether with her sarcasm or with the way she never backed down when he confronted her. He was kinda used to people leaving him alone as soon as they were exposed to his brutal honesty, but this girl was as savage as he was. That detail always threw him off guard.

 

Rey walked closer to him, patted his shoulder twice and smiled. “You want to be my friend so much? That’s so cute.”

 

Ben shrugged to get her hand off him. “Shut up,” he murmured through gritted teeth.

 

“You’re so much nicer than you want people to believe,” Rey pushed, knowing that would make him even angrier. She was having fun.

 

“I said shut up!” Ben repeated. “I had a tiring day, I didn’t pay attention to what you said, that’s all. I don’t even care if we’re friends or not, I just hate liars and I didn’t want to be used.”

 

Rey winked and began to walk away. “Yeah, sure.”

 

Ben realized he didn’t have any smart reply in his pockets this time. He had completely shamed himself in front of her and would need time to ruminate on his idiocy.

 

“I’m leaving,” he finally said. “You two lovebirds can study ‘til you drop, I’m done here.”

 

He walked away, trying to act cool at least in doing that.

 

Rey opened the heavy door of the library and looked back at him. “Your bag and books are still inside.”

 

Ben stopped in his tracks, closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning around. Rey was grinning from ear to ear and he could do nothing but bite the bullet and follow her.

 

_This fucking day will have to end sooner or later._

 

 

xxx

 

 

The phone had been ringing for a while now, falling silent for a few minutes just to start again and again. Vibration was on, and at every ring the device was moving closer and closer to the edge of the table.

 

Ben was sitting on his windowsill, in complete darkness, exhaling white smoke against the black sky. His gaze rested on the phone every now and then, but the name on the screen was always the same and he never answered that name.

 

His mother only looked for him a few times per year, usually when she had some public event coming up and she needed the world to believe she was a good mother. Ben had left that sparkling fair of hypocrisy long before, with no intention of coming back.

 

The sound of the city was nothing more than a low buzzing in his ears. It was almost soothing after the afternoon at the library – he always needed some alone-time after socializing so much. He was exhausted, and considered skipping class the next day. At least, he would leave the two lovebirds alone and wouldn’t have to hear that girl’s complaints.

 

His phone started ringing again. A message, this time.

 

 _Speaking of the devil_ , Ben thought, reading the three-letter name on the screen. He tapped on it.

 

_Poe invited me to his birthday party next weekend!!_

 

“Of course he did,” Ben mumbled, rolling his eyes. Poe loved big parties as much as he loved breathing, to the point where he often didn’t know half of his guests. He always threw the funniest parties and people were attracted to them like moths to the flame.

 

He decided that message didn’t deserve an answer and threw his phone on the bed. He was pretty sure he would have to listen to the story of how she got that invitation over and over again until the party night. People were just like that when they were in love. They overreacted for every little thing and used little to zero rationality.

 

 _You freaked out when you thought she didn’t think of you as a friend_ , a little voice in his head told him, _what does that make you?_

 

Ben looked at his reflection in the window: his eyes were wide and the cigarette had been hanging from his fingers for so long, it formed a small pile of ashes on the windowsill.

 

“That’s crazy,” he murmured, quickly taking a long drag. _Who would ever see that annoying kid that way?_

 

A ringing sound distracted his mind from wandering further and maybe it was a good thing. There was a new message on his phone – Ben might be done with chatting, but Rey sure wasn’t.

 

Reluctantly, but not without a hint of curiosity, Ben dropped the cigarette into the void, slid down the windowsill and dropped himself on the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, just breathing in and out with open arms, then lifted the phone above his face. The light of the screen blinded him for a moment, but the most annoying thing was the content of the message.

 

_I need to buy him a present, which means you’ll come shopping with me this weekend! ;-)_

 

Ben rolled his eyes and groaned. “Really, now?” He placed one arm under his head and read the words again. “Who does still write emoticons with a nose these days?” He found himself smiling but stopped immediately.

 

No way he would go. Weekends were holy to him, he could do anything, he could take his bike and go anywhere.

 

Or better, he liked the feeling of being free to do as he pleased when he actually just usually spent the whole weekend doing nothing at all.

 

On this last note, Ben felt a spark of curiosity for Rey’s proposal. He really had nothing better to do anyway, and it was always funny to see that girl making a fool of herself when Poe was involved.

 

Still, she would never win that easily.

 

_Forget it, I have better things to do. Besides, we do have a deal but I don’t ‘work’ for you 24/7._

 

He stopped with a furrowed brow soon after sending the message. _Too rude?_

 

He didn’t often question himself or his attitude, but something about Rey irritated him without reason and brought out the worst of him. He was fully aware that as much as their deal could be burdensome, she didn’t deserve most of the venom he threw at her and he was starting to find himself annoying.

 

 _Am I really questioning myself? What?_ , but he didn’t have the chance to get any deeper into his thoughts, because his phone rang again.

 

_Woah, pump the acid brakes, mate! Instead of taking it as a job, why don’t you consider it as hanging out with a friend? Which is what we are, because you wanted it sooo much :-D_

 

Ben decided in that moment that all his venom towards that girl was perfectly justified and that she didn’t even deserve an answer. He pushed the phone under his pillow and laid on his back, arms crossed behind his head and eyes closed. He would rather sleep the whole weekend than follow her around like a pathetic puppy.

 

Rey clearly had another idea. Ben felt the vibration under his pillow and rolled his eyes. _What now?_

 

Curiosity won over his annoyance, so he opened the message.

 

_Fine. If you help me with the gift, I’ll treat you to dinner and a movie. How about that?_

 

Ben grinned. _Now we’re talking._ That girl might have been a ball and chain, but she knew how to push the right buttons. He definitely couldn’t reject such an offer and his next message was just three words long.

 

_Time and place._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ I know it's been a long time and I want to truly, deeply, sincerely apologize for this *extremely* late update.  
> I'll go straight to the point: in the last months I found a job and also, unrelated, a serious issue came up in my family, and both things basically suck up 99% of my time, which is why it took so long for me to finish this chapter. I'll be honest, I've been very low in both mood and inspiration and even though I had half of this chapter ready since forever, it was hard for me to finish it. 
> 
> But now, be it the sunny season or the fact that I'm trying to find a balance in my life, I started to write again and I want to try and write regularly, so I hope I can update faster. I want to reassure everyone that I'm not going to drop this story and I want to thank you for the supporting messages I've been receiving. I know this chapter is nothing special, but I promise you the next one will have some juicy moments! ;)
> 
> Hopefully, you'll read another one of these boring end notes soon enough! In the meantime, thank you for all the comments, I always read to the very last one, both here and on tumblr. My blog is still up (roguewn.tumblr.com) even though I can't update regularly, and I want to thank everyone who sent a token of appreciation for my story, be it in messages, gifs or fanarts, I keep them all as a treasure♥


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